Ringing in the New Year with Change

I'm not going to lie. I normally do not set New Year's Resolutions. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with it. Typically they are just goals set that never get reached. That being said, there are some things I set out to do earlier this year that did ACTUALLY happen. Guitar was a huge goal of mine in 2011, and I am proud to say, (while I didn't start until this month,) I learned 3 Christmas songs. I proved to myself that I can do this, and I plan on improving and learning even more songs in 2012!!! Ultimate goal is to write accompaniment music to some of the poetry/songs I've written, but I'm far from being that good. ;-) This year I've also been so much better about getting in God's word, and I can say with 100% honesty that my prayer life has truly reached another level. So many people that I love have had a terrible 2011, and it made me realize how truly important and effective it is to call upon the name of the Lord.
So what do I want 2012 to look like...realistically? I want my relationship with God to continue to thrive. I want to be open to whatever He wants to use me for and I want to trust Him and not be afraid to step out and just do it! I'd also like to be even better about digging into the Word, not just reading it, but truly letting it soak in.
So what are these changes I'm talking about? Well, as you all know this Sunday will be the first Sunday at our new church. The reality of this hasn't completely soaked in. It's still hard thinking about not driving to TBT, but I am truly excited about the work God has for my family. I will be singing this Sunday, so we'll see how it goes! ;-) Aaron starts a new job next Tuesday!! What a HUGE blessing!! For those of you who know, he has been looking FOREVER!! This is an amazing opportunity and truly a step up from where he is now. Praise God for opening that door for us!! So there aren't a whole lot of changes coming for me, but I'm definitely thinking of finally going back to school, but we'll see! I'm kind of on 'change overload' right now!! =0)
Well I love you friends and appreciate all of you that actually read my weekly ramblings. I do pray that 2012 is an amazing year for all of us. I wanted to leave you with a cute little song I found about New Year's Eve.

Tuesday Tunes-There Will Be a Day-Jeremy Camp

I have heard this song several times, but for some reason last night it really got to me. In the midst of all the ugliness and sadness of this world, we have a hope. There will be a day when we see Jesus face to face and the hurts of this world will melt away. Oh how I long for the day of no more hurt, pain, tears and sadness. Until then, let's hold on to the hope that we have in Jesus. He will hold and carry us through this world when we feel we can't go on. He is all we need to make it through until the glorious day when we're finally home.

Christmas with the Blains

So today started out as usual! Up at 5:15 and then off to Denny's at 5:30 in our jammies. We had a delicious meal which in turn made my tummy hurt...TOTALLY worth it though! ;0) The boys opened presents and they both seemed super pleased with the gifts they received. Gifts aside, we had some great family time this morning.

I began getting ready for church and then of course the tears started coming. Luckily I managed to hold myself together through the song Sheila and me sang. Having a good cry while drying my hair this morning must have helped. ;0) I was lucky and got to work with both the nursery and toddler kiddos this morning one last time. I'm definitely going to miss their sweet little faces. Oh well, it just means more play dates in Dex's future. =0)
Definitely shed lots of tears saying goodbye, but I'm not going to let the sadness of the end of this wonderful chapter discourage me. Plus, I know it's not goodbye forever. I truly believe the friendships I've made will continue!!
After church we had a yummy lunch of Shepherd's Pie..not going to lie..I totally rocked this recipe!! Dex actually passed out in his Elmo chair right after lunch. I followed after him and it felt awesome to sleep for a couple of hours!

We then watched Elf. That movie just never gets old!!! Yes I cried at the end when they were all singing "Santa Clause is Coming to Town." What can I say, I'm an emotional girl?
Next Sunday will be different, and it's a little scary. However it's also very exciting. There's just something about knowing that you're walking down the path God prepared for you!
So 2012 is near, and church isn't the only thing changing for the Blain's! It has to do with Aaron's job. ;0) It's also a great thing! However, I will save that for another blog!!
So, Merry Christmas to all my wonderful friends! I pray you all had a blessed day and truly experienced the joy that only God can give!!

Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Christmas Eve Shenanigans-I may even play my guitar!!

So today we had meatball subs, chips and apple pie a la mode!! The boys opened presents from Aaron's brother and parents. This was the first time Dex actually ripped the presents open! He was very particular about NOT making a mess though and handed every piece of paper he ripped to Aaron. =0)

While the boys watched the Cowboy game, I decided I would be brave and try to get a decent video of one of the Christmas songs I learned. While I admit it is not perfect...or any where close, I decided to post it any way!! It's actually a little funny when I watch myself searching for the next chord!! I plan on being much better next year!! I am my own camera person, so that makes it a little awkward too! ;-) Merry Christmas Eve folks!!

LIVE Tuesday Tunes-Yes I sing..Sheila sings! =0)

I told you all there would be a treat later today and my friend Sheila and me got it done tonight! We had a blast doing this. Many of you don't go to my church, so you will not get to hear this on Sunday!
I pray that you all have the merriest Christmas and anew year full of joy and laughter and a lot less hurt and pain!!
I love you all!!

Tuesday Tunes-Sister Act 2

So I realize this isn't Christmas related, but I heard "Oh Happy Day" on Pandora and couldn't resist sharing this amazing soundtrack!! I don't know if I'd say this is my favorite movie, but the music is GREAT!!! I used to listen to the soundtrack to this movie and practice hitting the super high note in this song! =0) The song "Joyful, Joyful" was my solo in my middle school choir, but I'm not sure anyone can sing it as well as Lauren Hill. Well enjoy folks. "Oh Happy Day" is a song that makes me want to dance and sing..and makes me so very happy. If this music doesn't move you, there might be something wrong with you! ;0) Hehe, just kidding!!! Well enjoy these videos. I'm hoping to have a special treat for you tonight, so stay tuned. ;-)

Potty Training 101

So I'm going to start by saying this is definitely not a how to or anything like that. In Dex's case, I can honestly say I did nothing but wait! SO here's how our potty adventures began.
I was in the restroom and Dex came in and said "I go potty. My turn, my turn." I put him on the potty and he immediately went. We went to church, and when we got home I took him again. He was completely dry and went again. The past few mornings he has been dry, so today my plan is to put him underwear and see how it goes. I am very nervous about this process and here's why.
Dex has had 2 poo incidents. I always hoped my child wouldn't be a 'digger.' Well I came home from the store this week and he came up and showed me his finger saying "Ewww, mommy, Eww!!." Aaron went to change him and sure enough his breath had a nasty smell to it. I think Aaron was more disgusted than I was. ;0)
Then he decided his daycare teachers needed to experience his 'digging' also! This time the 'evidence' was all over his shirt and his chin.
Needless to say, we have had many conversations about why this is NOT acceptable. SO I'm sure you can understand why the thought of undies scare me. I'm hoping he just gets it like he seems to. Then I won't have to worry about the mess that's coming.
Well that is our experience so far. He was just ready on his own. I'm so very glad I let him do it in his time. It's been a lot less stressful for sure!!! Hopefully next time I write about potty training, it will be to say he's completely got it!! Until then....

Tuesday Tunes-Mary Did You Know?

To stay in theme of the holiday season, I thought I would share this song. While my favorite version is the one by Michael English, Crystal Lewis does a phenomenal job also. This song has always been a favorite, but for some reason I never though to sing it....until now. My friend Sheila and I will be singing this Christmas Day at church, so it will be even more special to me going forward. :-)
Enjoy! This isn't the exact version we'll be singing, but you'll get the idea! ;-)

Change for the Blains

So many of you have been curious about my cryptic messages regarding upcoming change. The news has been shared with those that we serve with, so now I will let you all in on what is coming January 1st. I'll begin with how it started.
Aaron went to a men's fellowship to watch a Cowboy game back in October, I believe. He ended up not getting home until well after midnight due to some deep conversations with the pastor of the church hosting the event. At that point and maybe a little before, Aaron started feeling like God might be calling him away from our current church. He was told of some awesome opportunities to serve in the areas he feels God has been calling him to for quite some time. I'm not going to lie, there was definitely a part of me that wanted this door slammed shut. However after much prayer, we are both at peace with our decision to leave our family at TBT,(Trinity Baptist Temple.) When I say family, I'm not referring to blood relatives. I am talking about our church family that we've loved from the moment we started going there.
Here's the reason why this is so terribly hard, and why every time I think about the reality of us leaving I can't stop the tears. First of all, it's the only church Dex has ever known. Thinking about removing him from his cute little friends that he's grown up with and all the many workers that have loved on him hurts my heart.
Another thing that has meant so much is how the workers have continued to love Brett even though he has misbehaved so many times in their care. They have a heart for kiddos, and have really taught Brett a lot.They have loved him for who he is and have always cared about his well being. He was saved and baptized at TBT and has made some of his dearest friends there too.
While I could go on and on about all the many things that have made me and my family love TBT,  the most important thing has been their prayers for us. Even more than that is their prayers and concern for my friends going through extremely devastating situations. The compassion, love and concern they show for people they don't even know is a true example of Christ's love.
Our last day at this wonderful church will be December 25th, and I couldn't imagine spending Christmas Day with a more wonderful group people. There will be lots of tears from me. This past Sunday was so hard, and I know this Sunday will be even harder. Christmas Day I'm sure I'll be a mess. It's okay though, because I know that this is not good bye forever. I still plan on getting myself (or at least my kids,) invited to birthday parties and baby showers. :0)
I do have peace that we are going where God wants us to be. How foolish would we be not to walk through a door He is holding wide open for us? So while change hurts so very much, and honestly I don't like change AT ALL, I know that God is in this and He's going to bless us.
So to my TBT family, I love you all more than you'll ever know. I'm going to miss seeing your warm happy faces Sunday morning,Sunday night and Wednesdays. I would have liked to have told each and every one of you in person, but I'm a crier, so it's hard to talk too much about it without causing the downpour of tears. All of you have a special place in my heart, and I look forward to and will cherish these next couple of weeks with you!
On a side note, please pray for me these next couple of Sundays. I am singing during our Christmas special this Sunday morning, and will also be singing a duet with my dear friend on Christmas Day! Please pray that I can hold my composure!  I am definitely not a graceful 'singing crier.' ;0)

Blain Christmas Traditions

I thought this would be a fun little topic and I'd love to hear some of my friends traditions too! =0) While it's not quite Christmas yet, I believe  Black Friday shopping kicks off the whole Christmas season. My friend Jen and I meet up anywhere from 11:30PM-3AM, (depending when the sales start,) to get started and catch the best deals...(aka buy ourselves some super awesome boots and towels from Kohl's.) While it is complete MADNESS, we both enjoy EVERY SECOND of it!!

We have a few Christmas traditions in the Blain household. The first thing is we have a list of Christmas movies that we watch each year: White Christmas (my favorite,) Die Hard (Aaron's favorite,) and The Grinch w/ Jim Carey. It seems like new movies get added each year...Elf, Edward Scissorhands, but the top 3 were the first ones I listed. Dex actually sat through the whole entire Grinch this year. Considering Elmo is no where in this movie makes that a HUGE deal!! =0)

I think my favorite tradition is waking up at 5AM Christmas morning and going to Denny's for a French Toast Slam. We then come back home and open presents. Then Aaron and I try to go back to bed. ;)

Christmas day is pretty chill after presents are opened. We don't do a big lunch. Last year we had meatball subs, chips and dip. Not sure what's on the menu this year, but we try to keep it simple with just Aaron, me and the boys.
One tradition I'm hoping to start now that I have learned to play Christmas carols on my guitar is singing. It's something I always enjoyed so much as a child. Singing=Christmas at my grandparents house. Once my grandpa passed away that kind of stopped, but I WILL restart this tradition this year!! =0) I'm no where near the musician he was, but that's not the point!
Well my friends, that's all until I am inspired to write again!!
Couldn't resist posting this from my ALL TIME FAVORITE Christmas movie! Enjoy!

Tuesday Tunes-Once Upon a Christmas-Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

Go ahead and make fun! =0) I promise I don't care. This album is silly and cheesy, but it makes me so happy and brings back so many great childhood memories. We always listened to this album at my grandparents house at Christmas time. I loved it then and I have even shared this wonderful Christmas album with my family. Aaron, yes MY Aaron can even be caught singing "I'll be Home with Bells On." While we no longer have Christmas at my grandparents house, and my grandfather passed away when I was in 5th grade, I still miss the days when this was playing in the background on Christmas day at their house. While Christmas is still wonderful and magical with my family now, part of me will always long for the days of Christmas as a kid at my Meemaw and Papa's house with Dolly and Kenny serenading us in the background.
Enjoy these videos...I was super stoked I could even find these. =0)

Tis the Season....or Not?!?!?!

So over the past couple of weeks, I've really been getting excited about the holiday season. I love this time of year...the caroling, the decor, and just the over all merriness! =0)I've been learning some Christmas carols on my guitar and hope to learn them well enough to share a video with all my friends very soon. I love Black Friday and the craziness of staying up all night shopping. There is just truly something joyous about this season.
That being said, I've been struggling with wanting to stifle my 'merry' because I know for some, this time of year is painful. There's the reminder of loss, loss of income, loss of a loved one...there's so much that can cause a great deal of pain in the midst of this holly jolly time of year.
Here's the conclusion I've arrived at. I can not let the circumstances around me steal my joy. Yes, there are so many reasons to be sad, but there are also so many reasons to be happy. Laughter is contagious and smiles are too. It's the job of the ones that aren't struggling quite so much to give those away constantly. I understand that smiles and laughter aren't quick fixes to pain, but even if it brings a moment of peace or happiness, it's totally worth it. The MOST important thing of course is to pray for those we know are struggling, be there for them. Offer a shoulder, a hand, a laugh, a smile, maybe even an ear.
Christmas is the season of giving, and if we aren't giving away anything and only focusing on what we're getting, we're missing the whole point. God sent us the most amazing gift on Christmas day...baby Jesus in a manger. He sent our Savior. Why would we not want to share this gift with others, the ones we love, the ones we know are struggling to just make it through this time of year?
It's so important that we fulfill our purpose for existing. We are to be a light, a blessing to a lost and dying world. Be the hope to those who feel hopeless. With that I leave you with this amazing song!!! =0) Yes it's a song and it's not Tuesday tunes, but all I can say is I can't help it!! I LOVE MUSIC!!

Tuesday Tunes-Psalm 18-Enter the Worship Circle

This song is on the Enter the Worship Circle w/ 100 Portraits and Waterdeep. To say this song is amazing doesn't even begin to describe how awesome it is! I'm not going to lie, it's easily one of my favorite songs on this CD. First of all if you've never heard Ben and Robin Pasley (aka 100 Portraits) you're missing out! They are a husband/wife team and they are incredibly in love with each other and the Lord. You can just tell if you're lucky enough to see them live, which I have. This entire album is awesome and I'm fortunate enough to go to a church that sings a few songs from it. I think my favorite lyric from the song is this "He saved me 'cause He Loves me and He's full of grace." It's such a simple line, but so very powerful at the same time.! Enjoy, my friends...I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot more songs from the Enter the Worship Circles 1-3. =0) Here's a link to their website in case you're interested in checking out more of their music: http://www.entertheworshipcircle.com/store/

Why Not Now?

  

So many are weighed down by hurt and pain,

Barely able to keep themselves sane.

Why not now?

 Tear filled pillows night after night,

And an end appears to be nowhere in sight.

Why not now?

When will the hurt end?

Where is this light that’s supposed to shine again?

We’re ready to be saved today.

Why not now?

Your children desperately need to hear the trumpet sound.    

This world is dark and ugly, and peace is never close enough to be found.
Please rain down your mercy and grace,

Because we’re barely hanging on in this awful place.

Why not now?

We need you to save us and fill us with your hope.

Please don’t wait, it's almost impossible to cope.

Why not now?
We're aching to be home with You.
We need you to come for us,
Why not now?

"You Wouldn't Cry For Me" By Mandisa

So I realize that yesterday was Tuesday tunes, but absolutely can not wait a whole week to share this song with you. I've heard it several times and have loved it, but just got too busy and never posted it on here. The reason I absolutely love this song is because it's a song of hope. If you have suffered loss, it's a comfort. However even if you haven't, it a hope of what's to come. Yes this world is ugly, cruel, full of hurt, pain, tears, and sorrow. I believe that the hope we have is that this is as bad as it will ever be for those of us who have made the decision to accept Christ's gift of salvation. For some this is their Heaven, but hopefully for all of my dear friends, this is our Hell. Don't get me wrong, there are so many beautiful things about life: family, friends, laughter, love,  music, mountains, oceans, but it often seems the ugliness and darkness/pain overshadows what little light there is. So keep pressing on my friends, and remember there is a place called Heaven. It's as real as you and me. This world is not our home. One day we will be with Jesus, and all the many loved ones we've lost. For now, they are safe in the arms of God. Yes it hurts, but how awesome that we have this blessed hope. Love you all and wishing you all the most wonderful Thanksgiving.

Tuesday Tunes-Carmen "Lazarus"

So this is definitely an OLD song. The reason I thought of it is because of a sermon my pastor just recently preached about Lazarus. I listened to this song again for the first time today, and it's so awesome.  I'm sure you would not be surprised, but even this brought tears to my eyes. ;-) While Carmen will be perceived as pretty cheesy today, he really was an amazing story teller, and I saw him a few times in concert as a kid. I even went to the free concert at Texas Stadium way back in the day. Listening to this song today brought back some amazing memories. Give the song a chance. It really gives an amazing visual of what it may have been like the day Jesus called Lazarus to "Come Forth."

Tuesday Tunes..."His Strength is Perfect"

I'm hoping to remember to do this every Tuesday, but I'm not making any promises. "His Strength is Perfect" by Steven Curtis Chapman is a super old song but holds a very special place in my heart. Here's my favorite part of the song: : "His strength in us begins, when ours comes to an end. He hears our humble cry and proves again His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. He'll carry us when we can't carry on. Raised in His power the weak become strong. His strength is perfect."
I'm going to try to make a super long story short as to why this song means the world to me and even now, after 10+ years, it can still bring tears to my eyes. When I was a sophomore in high school. I started having terrible headaches. That's actually a HUGE understatement. They were so bad I would throw up, have seizures, and half of my body would go numb. After many doctors visits, CT scans, and MRI's we found out I had fluid on my brain. I ended up having 1 surgery to drill a hole through my skull to let the fluid shoot out. A week later I was back in the hospital having surgery #2 to have a shunt put in. During my hospital stays I would watch a Steven Curtis Chapman video and listen to this song over and over. Whenever it came on everyone in my hospital room had to be quiet or I'd get pretty ticked. I drew so much strength from this song. I was weak, frustrated, had a ton of pain and half my head shaved. I couldn't be strong on my own and God carried me through that very dark time when I was drifting in to depression. Sometimes being surrounded by family and friends who love you isn't enough. God is though! 
Well that's the main reason the song is special to me, but I will give you the most awesome part of the whole 'fluid in brain' experience. I actually had a 3rd surgery scheduled because the shunt wasn't cutting it. Personally I didn't have it in me to endure another painful surgery, so I told my dad I wasn't going to do it and I'd rather die than have another one. That night my friends and family gathered to pray for me. The rest is history. The 3rd surgery was cancelled and now I am a walking miracle. 
I will close with this quote and a video of the song. "Sometimes when we get overwhelmed, we forget how big God is." AW Tozer Let's not forget that God is bigger than any problem we're facing and that His strength truly is made perfect in our weakest hour.

Christi Crocker...It might be happening

I'm not going to lie. I've always been able to cook, but it's never been my favorite thing to do.I don't have a special dish or anything. My food is edible and tastes pretty fantastic at times. I've been stuck in quite the cooking rut for a while though..spaghetti, hamburgers, tacos, meatloaf, chicken alfredo, fish sticks, chicken nuggets and a rotating array of sides: corn, green beans, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese ...basically stuff that's super easy to throw together after a long day at work.

Well I'm not sure what has happened to me, but I am suddenly interested in trying out new recipes and....BAKING!!! Here is my history with baking..my cakes taste delicious, but while putting the icing on I typically rip the top off. They're never pretty, and so I just choose not to do it. 

I think what started my cooking frenzy, (well it's not quite a frenzy yet,) was my trip to Florida recently. My friend Kate introduced me to Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread, and it was amazing. I came home and bought all the ingredients. Now, I plan on having this 177 calories of goodness for breakfast for the rest of my life. If all the stores are out of pumpkin soon, it's totally me. While I was there Kate also expressed how much she loved crock pot meals. I always knew how convenient this was, but just never went through the trouble of finding good recipes. While visiting, Kate, Sean and I went to Chili's and they both had soup. For one, they were discussing how yummy the soup was, and I think we may have had a conversation about it probably not being too hard to make.So I came home and made some homemade chicken noodle soup. It was such a simple recipe and ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!

So I guess all I can say is that I have discovered that there are simple recipes out there without a million ingredients I've never heard of. Thanks Kate! =0)

Betty Crocker needs to watch out, because Christi Crocker is on the rise!! Here are the two recipes I've made recently.

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread:

Ingredients:
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
3 cups granulated sugar
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin
1 cup canola oil
2/3 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray three 9x5 inch loaf pans with cooking spray and set aside.
2. In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, combine sugar, pumpkin, canola oil, water, vanilla, and eggs. Mix until smooth.
4. Slowly blend in flour mixture. Fold in chocolate chips. Evenly divide batter between the three loaf pans.
5. Bake for 60 minutes, or until browned and a toothpick comes out clean. Remove loaves from oven and cool in pans on a wire rack for 15 minutes. With a knife, go around the bread and loosen the loaves. Remove from pan and cool completely before slicing.

Chicken Noodle Soup:

4 cups Swanson® Chicken Broth (Regular, Natural Goodness® or Certified Organic)

Generous dash ground black pepper

1 medium carrot, sliced (about 1/2 cup)

1 stalk celery, sliced (about 1/2 cup)

1/2 cup uncooked extra wide egg noodles

1 cup shredded cooked chicken or turkey

• Heat the broth, black pepper, carrot and celery in a 2-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil.
• Stir the noodles and chicken in the saucepan. Reduce the heat to medium. Cook for 10 minutes or until the noodles are tender, stirring occasionally.

October Shenanigans

So, things have been SUPER crazy since my last post..not crazy, bad, but crazy busy! How did I not notice before how busy the month of October is?
First things first. As you all know, I am the crazy lady who was stoked about turning 30. Well as crazy as it may sound, I do not look any different AND I feel exactly the same as I did when I was 29. SHOCKING, huh?!?!?!?! ;-) My sweet friend Sarah threw me the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY ever!!! I was reminded of how truly amazing my friends are. We went to dinner at Mi Cocina and then went back to Sarah's house for cake, presents, and a little Rock Band fun! I received some AWESOME presents too!!! =0)
I just got back from my trip to Florida on Tuesday. It was so amazing to see my friend Kate and of course her hubby Sean and sweet baby Cannon. I think the greatest thing about our friendship is how we are able to just pick up where we left off. It never seems awkward when we're able to hang out again. Our kind of friendship is definitely rare, and I am so grateful that even though we're thousands of miles apart, we still keep the closeness we've always had. I definitely needed this trip, and I'm so glad I was able to make it. I got to meet a couple of Kate's sweet friends, and was lucky enough to make it to their church this time. I'm not going to lie, as much as I wanted to come home to my family, it was very hard to leave my sweet friend. I cried which should not be surprising to any of you who know me. :0) I'm sure some people in the airport thought I was a nut case!

Well, since I've been back, and apparently while I was gone, Dex turned into a little monster. He's been throwing some pretty intense temper tantrums, and he gets really upset when I leave the room and he can't see me. I'm hoping that after this weekend, he will realize that I'm not going anywhere. Today has already been a lot better, so hopefully I'll get my 'almost' perfectly behaved toddler back. While I have to admit it's a little humorous, he actually went to the office the day before yesterday for chasing after his teacher trying to hit her. What I wouldn't give to see that on camera?!?! I mean, like I said, he's totally out of character. ;0)
What else? We're all geared up for Halloween. Dex is going to be Batman and Brett is dressing up as a ninja! The festivities start tomorrow evening. Can't wait to take and post some pics.
For now I will leave you with a peaceful moment with Dex and random pic of him and I together.

Turning Thirty's Terrific =0)

So, as many of you know, I am turning 30 on October 11th. While most ladies are not excited about this at all, I'm actually pretty stoked. Call me crazy!! It might be true!! :0)

Here are the reasons I'm okay with leaving my 20s behind...while I will admit this is weird. Although I've been an adult for a while now, it seems like when you're 30, you're officially a grown up. I know that probably makes no sense, but I guess that's where the crazy comes in. ;-)

Okay, now to the reasons why I'm okay with it! First of all I have a hubby who thinks (or pretends to think) that I'm the hottest girl in the world. ;) Judging from past relationships I've been in this is HUGE!! I don't have to pretend to be something that I'm not. He loves me for me. The fact that he can do that while knowing EVERYTHING about me is pretty amazing. The fact that he bought me an hour massage for an early birthday present is pretty awesome too. He blessed me with 2 boys, one I didn't get the honor of meeting until he was a 3 year old in my daycare class, and the other of course I got to experience the beauty and craziness of pregnancy and child birth! Love my boys even on the days when one or all of them are driving me INSANE!! I am a mother, which is something I've always wanted to be!!!
Let's see what else...well I have a house, a great job, the car I've always wanted, (Honda CRV.) Yes folks a CRV is the car of my dreams! I'm really easy to please. The fact that I am part of the praise team and choir at church and get to use the gift of singing which God gave me is something else that makes turning 30 not too bad. I have all my needs met and many of the things I want.
The support system I have is amazing! My parents are truly the best..always such an encouragement. My friends, wow, it's so incredible to have people that love me unconditionally because they choose to. It's a comfort to know that they are lifting me up in prayer when I need it and even if I feel I don't. :)
When I look back to where I was 10 years ago, I am so grateful for where I am.  "If you could see where Jesus brought me from, to where oh I am today, then you would know the reason why I love my Jesus so." When I sing the words to this song it's so hard not to cry. I was a mess. So why would I be sad about a number? Will I look any different the day I turn 30? Nope. Will I feel different? Probably not. The truth is, even if I do, I am ready to walk into my 30s excited about what God has in store for me. Don't get me wrong, my life is far from perfect and there are many things I would change. I just think back to where I used to be, how I used to view myself, and I am so proud of the women God has molded me from the ashes of my past mistakes and triumphs. So to 30, I say bring it on. I'm not scared. ;) I am more confident and know that with God on my side there's nothing I'll ever face alone.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Today has just been one of those days. It hasn't been a bad day at all. However, all I can say about this day is blah.  Perhaps it's the clouds although we desperately need the rain. The cooler weather...probably not since I am SO READY for the temps to cool down for good.
I think what it all boils down to is I'm having a 'girl day.' Most of you know what I mean, but it's just one of those days where I feel fat and uncomfortable in my own skin. Most days I can get past this, but today.... BLAH!! Before any of you go too crazy over my last comment, remember that I am someone who has always obsessed about my weight. If you've read my previous blog, you know that I took it to a very unhealthy extreme. Sadly, while God has given me strength to avoid that road ever again, it's a constant battle to believe and see that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." It's just incredibly difficult to accept any weight gain...even if it's just 5 pounds.
My mind always goes to the most extreme things first...don't eat, just drink fruit juices along with fruits and veggies, diet pills....blah, blah, blah.....
Luckily the smart side of me knows if I would just eat a little better, drink a ton of water, and exercise, I would be FANTASTIC!! So folks, don't worry about me. I know that I am in a good place. I also know that because of this my old struggles are going to rear their ugly heads. Thank God for giving me the strength not to fall for those silly tricks again.
So, since this was not the most uplifting blog ever, I leave you with a very funny pic of Dex...I hope you LOL! =0) Sadly he was walking better in these shoes than I do! For those of you wondering, I do not encourage this type of behavior, but what kind of mom would I be if I didn't get a picture?  =-)

September 11th....Have We Let Ourselves Forget?

I've gone back and forth on what to blog about next and this seems fitting with the 10th anniversary being tomorrow. 

I can honestly say that I will never forget where I was and what I was doing 10 years ago tomorrow. I can still remember the heartbreak and fear that the terrorists evoked. More than that though, I remember how it seemed that the country as a whole prayed...not to Mohammed, or Buddha, but to the one true LIVING God, the only One that could truly save us and protect us. I can honestly say I had hoped that it would be a turning point for our country to once again become One Nation Under God. Sadly, it seems we have gone the total opposite direction. Unfortunately, we let ourselves forget. While it's so nice to see everyone posting how they will never forget 9/11, in their everyday life, it is so evident that they/we did. 

Why are the leaders,churches, EVERYONE not crying out to God DAILY? How come it seems that we are just pushing Him further and further away? The verse that's been on my heart this past week is this: "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2nd Chronicles 7:14.  It's so evident that we as Americans/Christians should be on our faces pleading for God to heal our country...to bring us back to the place where He was our first love.  I just wish everyone would realize how much better everything would be if we allowed God back in.

This entry wouldn't be complete if I didn't say anything about the wonderful heroes of September 11th and the everyday heroes. I will forever be grateful to our military, the police, firemen, EMT's that gave up their lives and those who continue to put their lives on the line for complete strangers. They do it selflessly to preserve the freedom that we so often take for granted. Thank you for your selflessness! Thank you to your families who allow you to preserve and protect this wonderful nation. Your sacrifice does not go unnoticed, and there are so many of us that are lifting you up each day in prayer. May God give you the grace, peace,and strength you need to make it through each day.

Women of Faith 2011

Women of Faith was incredible, not because of the talented speakers or amazing singers, but because God moved. He didn't just move in my life, but he moved in the group as a whole. This will all make more sense later.

I can honestly say I wasn't going into the weekend expecting a whole lot. I had gone before a few years back, and Friday night was incredible, but Saturday just wasn't. Going into Friday night, I was mostly excited to stay with some sweet friends at a hotel in Dallas. God had other plans.

I think the speaker that struck me the most was Lisa Whelchel, (Blaire from the Facts of Life.) She talked a lot about friendships. One thing that she said that made so much sense is that you don't want to be friends with the people that seem to have everything together. They're like Teflon...everything just slips right off. In my experience with people like this, it's impossible to confide in someone who never admits to faults. How could I ever be 'real' with someone who is so put together? Mostly because I am not. I am flawed and imperfect. I guess you could say I am perfectly flawed. =0) 

After the speakers had all spoke, we took a break and then started to discuss when we should leave.I had never heard Mandisa, so I figured we could stay for a couple of songs and then leave a little early to beat the crowd of people. Mandisa took the stage and started out with some fun girls songs, but then BAM!! She started singing a song called "Stronger" and I just began to cry. I wept through every single song she sang. "Broken Hallelujah" was another that just pierced my heart. The crazy thing about it is I wasn't necessary broken over anything that had to do with me, but mostly God had put one of my dearest friends on my heart. I wanted so badly for her to be there with me, but I think mostly, I just wanted her to hear the words I was hearing.  We ended up leaving about 10 minutes early, and then went back to our hotel.

God just continued to work. We sat on the 3rd floor deck of our hotel and just laughed and cried. We talked about so much, pretty much everything you could imagine. Happy things, sad things and all things in between. We sat up there talking until about 2:30-3 in the morning. It was amazing, and while we knew we had to get up early, we were looking forward to Saturday and what it would hold for us.

6AM came early. We got ready, had breakfast. Then we just began to talk. The conversations turned into tears and the tears became prayers. It was truly the most wonderful time. We didn't make it to Day 2 of Women of Faith, but God did a work in us that we didn't expect. 

I think this quote I found yesterday sums up the experience,‎"Jesus came not to call people who think they are righteous, but people who know they are sinful." AW Tozer. My friends and I are far from righteous, SO far from where we should be. The incredible thing is we KNOW this, we ADMIT this, and we are all 

striving to be more like Christ.

God knew exactly what He had in store for all of us. He gave my friends and I an experience we will never forget. We are each others velcro...we're all a little cooky, so we stick together. ;-)  No Teflon here! =0)

"Stronger" and "Broken Hallelujah"

So Friday evening I went to Women of Faith, and I heard Mandisa sing for the first time ever. I was bawling the whole time. I just wanted to share these two songs. Listen, truly listen...touched my heart so very much and made me think of one of my dearest friends. So I share these songs with you and pray that you listen and read the words. Let them pierce your heart as they did mine.
"Broken Hallelujah:''

"Stronger:"

Alright friends! I love you and pray that these songs will be an encouragement wherever you are. I promise to write all about the weekend once I've taken care of this sleep deprivation. =0)

1st day of School and other Shenanigans...

So let's see..Monday was Brett's first day of middle school, and I was beyond nervous for him. His grades have always been wonderful but his behavior has always been an issue. Monday started all kinds of new routines. 

1. Catch the bus to and from school 

2. Lock the door

3. Don't sneak toys, video games, etc in backpack since me and Aaron weren't here to check

4. Remember lunch

I put a list on the refrigerator on Sunday night, and Monday before I left I reminded him about a million times of all the things he needed to do and what time to be out of the house. On the way to work on Monday I heard "Butterfly Kisses," (aka The Cheesiest Song in the World.) Don't get me wrong, it has sentimental meaning to me because of my dad, but obviously I do not have a daughter. Why was it that it took everything in me not to cry while this song was playing!?!? Something is WAY different about having a middle schooler compared to elementary. Middle school is where it really starts to matter who Brett picks as friends. Middle school is where he can choose to be the Light or he can choose to follow the path of the 'in' crowd. I think that's what brought the tears mostly..hoping and praying that Aaron and I have done everything in our power to help him to be strong and a leader, not a follower. I'm proud to say that Brett has handled his new responsibilities perfectly. He hasn't forgot to lock the door or missed the bus. I was positive that when I got home for lunch today, he would be in the living room watching TV. Thanks for proving me wrong, kiddo! =) So far the year is off to a great start. He said EVERYONE in his classes like him, and he LOVES riding the bus. Here's a pic of him ready for school and Dex ready for daycare. Dex is saying "cool" in this pic! =0)

Speaking of Dex, his vocabulary seems to grow everyday. He has a Grover book and it says "Oh Dear" so now he says that..SUPER CUTE by the way. He also has a bunny that sings "Jesus Loves Me," and I discovered he knows some of the words and signs. We're still not 100% devoted to the potty training, but he still goes every night, and asks to go every once and a while too! 

Well besides the kiddos, I am super stoked for Women of Faith conference this weekend. Me and some sweet friends will be staying in a hotel on Friday night, and I'm SO looking forward to girl time AND what God has in store for all of us.

Last thing, and I promise I'll stop! ;-) Tonight I got some new curtains for the living room and Aaron and my bedroom along with a new comforter set! Our old one was literally falling apart since I'm smart and I washed it in the washer. It was really faded too..7 years old, so it was time to trade it in. Please disregard the clutter,but here is a pic. I'm super stoked that I was able to change up a few things and look forward to updating/changing many more. Sssshhh..don't tell Aaron.

Alright friends! I think I've reached 'blog capacity.' Can't wait to tell you all about Women of Faith!! 

Brilliant Thought of a Child....

8 yr old:"Who cares if our prayers are answered or not. We still get to talk to God."

When I read this...I knew I had to write about it. What an amazing truth this child spoke, and all of us would be in a much better place if we truly lived with this mindset. We so easily forget what an amazing gift we have in prayer or as this child sees it "just talking to God."

How amazing is it that we serve a God who loves us enough to listen to us, truly wanting to know everything about us. He cares that we're hurting, He understands our uncontrollable sobs, He loves to see us happy, and He never abandons us in our time of need. We have a Heavenly Father who longs to spend time with us. He desperately wants us to confide in Him. It's quite mind boggling when I try to wrap my mind around it, especially when you take into consideration that He already knows everything about you.  He loves me in spite of my faults and failures. I read this quite a while back, but I love this quote so very much: "God loves us just as we are, but too much to leave us that way." 

I often get caught up in thinking of all the many mistakes I've made in my life. I forget what it says in Psalms 103:12: " As far as the East is from the West, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Most of the time I have such a hard time forgiving myself, I lose sight of the fact that He is faithful to forgive.

Basically I guess the whole point of this is to remind you to talk to your Daddy upstairs. =0) Let Him know your frustrations, pains, and all about the joy you have in your life. Tell Him what you need, what you want, but always remember He may not answer the way you want, or at all. You just have to have faith and know that He knows exactly what He's doing and what's best for you. Don't ever forget that HE loves you more than you could ever imagine. When life is hard and you don't understand, He's catching every tear that you cry and giving you that peace and strength to carry on. He'll never leave you, and He's always there walking right beside you. 

Remember,like this child does, how truly awesome it is to talk to God!! =0)

Finish College..Retire in a Job I'm NOT Passionate about....

Most of you that know me well, (and I'm sure you're the only ones reading this blog,) know that I have always wanted to be a school teacher. Don't get me wrong, I have no complaints about my current job, and I LOVE many of the people I work with and have amazing bosses. Well, maybe that was a tiny lie. I do have some complaints, but they're not big ones. ;-) I even have the potential or may already be making more than I would as  a teacher. That's the thing with me though, I've never been money or career driven. My main goal has really always been just to be happy and comfortable in my job....OR BE A STAY AT HOME mom...the PTA mom, always at school functions and baking goodies for the class. =0)
Before I became pregnant with Dex, I was trucking right along, knocking out classes 9 weeks at a time. After I had him (and a couple of months before,) I lost interest in school all together. I didn't see a way to fit it in while giving quality time to my family. I also didn't want to be up until one or two in the morning finishing up assignments. It just didn't seem worth it.
Well, as Dex has gotten a little older, I've been getting the itch to go back. Then the layoffs of teachers started happening, and this my friends, is my new excuse not to go back. It's not that I don't still want it. I guess I just want to enjoy my time without stressing about school. Plus, I probably wouldn't be able to find a job once I graduated any way.
Believe me, I know it would be in my best interest to go ahead and go back. I would have the degree, and just continue working at my current job until I found a teaching position. I think at this point there's also that fear of jumping back in. I figure that since I've been out for 2 1/2 years, my smarts may have dwindled down to nothing. =0)
Deep down I know my heart is with the kiddos. Kids are my passions, not the mortgage industry I'm currently in. Brett, my oldest, has had so many terrible teachers. The ones you can tell hate kids and have no compassion and could care less whether they succeed or not. It makes me sick that there are more bad teachers than good ones. Teaching in my opinion is a calling, not a fall back plan when your original job/degree plan didn't pan out.  There are several teachers I had elementary-high school, that I still remember to this day. Sadly, at this point Brett may be lucky with one maybe two that he really thought cared about him. I know it's a challenging job, and I've always believed I have what it takes to help my kiddos succeed...even the REALLY difficult ones.
After writing this, it seems silly that I'm not signing up for school right away! I really need to start striving for that goal..doing it a little at a time at least. We shall see. I may not start right away, but it's definitely something to start thinking about...especially since my work even offers tuition reimbursement.
Here's a fun pic from today!! I leave you with Dex kisses.:-)

Toddler Topics...

My little Dex turned 2 in April, so we are anxious to have the little booger potty trained. I decided when he turned two it was time for Elmo underwear and a couple of small packages of pull ups. (I've never wanted to use pull-ups, by the way.)  However I didn't want to go cold turkey to underwear and have to leave work everyday to deliver more clothes to the daycare. I tried over a weekend, and quickly discovered that he wasn't ready, and I wasn't ready to stress myself out with cleaning poo and pee off my floors. I guess no one ever is. :-) We put it on hold for a couple of months, and now we are at it again. I think we may be closer to success since he has now started asking to go tee tee. Even though a lot of the time we just read books and wait for 'nothing' to happen, I still see this as progress. He does go pretty regularly when he sits there,so hopefully within the next couple of months I will get to STOP BUYING DIAPERS!!! HIP HIP HOORAY!! Either way, I'm not stressing about it, and at this point, I've made the decision to follow his lead, and encourage going as often as possible.

One worry I've had since Dex turned two is that he wasn't using small phrases a whole lot. He says a ton of words, but hadn't really shown much interest in putting them together to form short sentences. Don't get me wrong, he's always 'talked' a lot, but most of it was just cute gibberish. I've noticed over the past month that his vocabulary has really grown. He's starting to put words together, and there's less gibberish and more actual conversation. Talk about relieving a worried momma. I never  thought anything was wrong with him, but I just wanted to make sure that he was where he needed to be with his vocabulary. I started reading to him a lot more, and encouraged him to say "up please, more juice, juice please, no more..slowly we're getting there, and I'm glad I haven't let the worry consume me too much. I have let it get to me here and there, but I know he's fine, and once he REALLY starts talking, I may wish he'd waited a little bit longer.;-)

I think as moms we are always comparing our kiddos to others. In my case it's a fueled the fire of my worry, but I've come to the conclusion that each child is unique. They develop at their own pace. As a mom,we just have to be proactive in their development and make sure that we're not enabling their fit throwing, giving in to their every whim just to keep them quiet, letting them point instead of ask for something...It's the little things that we do that makes all the difference.

The most important thing we can do is pray for our children and pray for ourselves to be the best moms we can be. It's a huge responsibility and it's a little overwhelming sometimes, but the blessings our kiddos bring are truly amazing. They steal your heart from the moment you lay eyes on them. 

Bulimia...Overcoming the Demon

Blogging is about life, so I've decided to give you a glimpse into one of the many things I've struggled with in my almost 30 years of life. Many of my close friends and family know that I struggled for years with bulimia. I'm not even sure what made me wake up one day and decide I was fat, but either way it happened and once I went down that slippery slope it was very rough to climb out of that deep dark pit of low self esteem and poor body image. Here is a poem I wrote when I was at my lowest point. Please bear with me, because I do triumph in the end. =)
A Chubby girl stares back at me as I look into the mirror.
Who is she? Could she really be me?
I pray she's not, but she's all I ever see.
"You're not skinny enough. How much did you eat today?"
In my head she taunts me until I give in.
My insides ache, pleading with me to stop, but this monster always reigns victorious.
Day in and day out, I try to gain control, 
But in the end victory goes to the enemy within.
When did my eyes lose sight of the beauty I used to see?
Why did I  fall into this suicidal trip? 
How did I become my own enemy?
After I wrote this I guess you could say I realized how messed up I was. I started digging for scriptures that could help me to see myself as God sees me, beautiful, a masterpiece he made. The scripture that truly saved my life was Psalms 139:14 "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." I began just meditating on this verse. It was the first thing I saw when I unlocked my cell phone. Then one day I sat down and wrote this poem: Promise, it's much happier.
I'm in awe of your beauty.
You are the one I created in my very image.
Eyes so blue filled with love straight from my heart.
The freckles on your face are all so perfectly placed. 
I command the sun to rise each morning in hopes of seeing you smile.
Your single dimple always gives me such delight.
You are my child, my creation.
Each day I sing over you and long to hear the sweet songs of your heart.
Your voice is a sweet melody that grows in beauty each time I hear it.
Why do you question your worth, precious one?
Nothing surpasses you in beauty.
In my sight nothing is more lovely.
Flowers, mountains, and oceans are dim in comparison to the radiant light of your beauty.
After I read this poem, I began to cry. I realized that though I wrote it, it was as if God was speaking to me reassuring me of my worth and beauty. I'm not going to lie and say that I never struggle with thoughts of being fat. I can honestly say it's a daily struggle to look in the mirror and actually be confident and what stares back at me. I can however say that I have been victorious for at least the past seven years in not giving into these thoughts and falling into that vicious cycle again. God gave me the victory and I thank him everyday that he gave me the strength to overcome and continuing to overcome everyday.