It's Time

This week it seems as if the world is going crazy. There is more violence, more hatred, more division than I have ever seen in my 34 years of life. In the midst of my fear, all I can feel is "it's time."

Time for what you ask? 

I can't speak for anyone else, but it's time for me to humble myself and repent for not loving the way I should. I haven't loved people the way I should, and I definitely haven't loved God above all. My heart is grieved and broken, I'm disappointed that I've let life steal my joy. I've let circumstances control me. I've let the trials of life steal my focus. I've let myself get discouraged, which has taken me away from the work I'm called to do. I'm called to love. I'm called to use my circumstances as a testimony to encourage someone struggling as well. I'm supposed to love people to Jesus.

It's also time for the church to tear down the religious walls dividing us all. If we can't stand as a united body, there truly is NO HOPE for this lost and dying world. We carry the hope within us. We have the answer to all of the hurt and pain. We know the healer and the comforter. We know the mender of broken hearts and the One who provides the peace that passes all understanding. It is time we share Him with our neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family. 

It's time to pray. PRAY like we've never prayed before. Prayer changes things. I've seen it. 

It's time. It's time. IT'S TIME!!! It's not going to be easy, but in our weakness, He is strong.

No more playing church. It's time to BE the church. 

The song that has been on my heart today is "Hosanna." This is my heart's cry:

Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like you have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks yours. Everything I am for your kingdoms cause as I walk from Earth into eternity.

2 Chronicles 7:14

if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

John 16:33

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Overcome

It's been forever since I've taken the time to write. I've thought about it, but it's been impossible to be alone with my thoughts.
Last time  I wrote Elyse Harley was a mere week old. Well she is now a chunker and almost 5 months old. I LOVE her and feel so grateful that God entrusted me to be her mommy. The boys are thriving so far this school year, but it's so hard to believe we have a baby, 1st grader and a sophomore.
How do I even begin to write about the past 5 months? I've been the happiest, most anxious, more fearful, most frustrated I've been in a very long time. I am literally all over the place these days. Trying to find the balance and keep my sanity has been extremely hard. Being proactive, but also having faith is a difficult balance to find.
It's so funny because last Sunday at church our friend Aaron led the song Overcome. Since then, I've found myself singing this song while going through everyday tasks. After struggling between anxiety and fear for months now, the words struck a chord inside me.

All authority, every victory is Yours. 

Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame. 

Jesus, awesome in power forever, Awesome and great is Your name, You Overcame. 

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, Everyone overcome.

I think what I love about this song is that through Him, we ARE overcomers as well. My victory is in Him. My hope, my peace, my faith, my trust, my strength is in Him. Every victory: overcoming bulimia, heartbreak, illness, it's all His. None of these things would have been possible without the love and guidance of my Heavenly Father. He loved me enough to walk through every trial with me. His word gave me victory. Songs He brought to life in the hearts of others helped me through. One of my many life verses is Psalm 139:14 "I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well."  

I've been receiving little reminders daily through His word that He's got this. Whatever IT is, He'll get me through. I'm so thankful for friends who encourage and a church that truly loves me. I am truly surrounded by the best people. I'll leave you with some of the verses that have pulled me back from the ledge of anxiety and fear:

John 16:33 "These thing I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I HAVE OVERCOME the world."

Isaiah 12:2 "Behold, God is my salvation, I will TRUST and NOT be afraid;The Lord is my STRENGTH and song;He also has become my salvation."

Psalm 4:8 "I will both lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."
Psalm 5:11-12 "But may all those who seek refuge in You rejoice; May they ever shout for joy, because You defend them;May those who love Your name be joyful in You. For You, Lord, will bless the righteous; You surround him with favor like a shield."

Lastly here's a quote that also made me smile this week, "The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us."

Vacation, Women of Faith, and Revival

It's been forever since I've actually had time to gather my thoughts. Life has been so busy...moving faster than I'd like.
First of all, I just wanted to share a little bit about my vacation to Minnesota and Wisconsin at the end of August. First of all, it's so crazy to think that so much time has passed. I had an amazing time with my dearest friend. Our friendship is certainly an example of those that even though there's a lot of distance, and we don't talk everyday, when we get together, it's like we were never apart. :-) I am so blessed to have her and her precious family in my life, and it was so very hard to leave them and come home. They are not just friends but an extension of my family. I'm dreaming of a move,  but we'll see where God leads us. :-) Here's my favorite pic from my visit!

When I returned home it was full speed ahead. I had Women of Faith, and WOW was it wonderful and much needed. I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was there. The theme was a lot about being more than you know, and that God is more than we know. Here are a few of the notes I took, quotes that spoke to me "He is God. Miracles are what He does. Impossible is where He starts."  "Don't just memorize, internalize the word." "He can use our past to give someone else a future." " God is not growing in His level of patience. It is perfect and complete." The worship was phenomenal. I've said this on Facebook, but hearing 10,000+ voices singing and worshiping is one of the most beautiful sounds. One other word I really loved is that "true worship is unrehearsed." Basically I could go on and on, but it was an amazing time with God and a dear friend! :-)

Lastly I wanted to talk about the revival at my church. It was phenomenal. Not because we had a special minister who's on TV, but because God moved. Again, my favorite part was leading worship. What an amazing thing to hear voices singing loud enough for me to hear them. That's what worship is all about. I was beyond blessed because you could tell everyone came expecting to meet with God. After all, if you don't come excepting you're going to leave disappointed. God never disappoints though, so you can always count on Him to show up and meet you right where you are.
Until next time! :-)

Though My World May Fall..I'll Never Let You Go

I shared on Facebook this week that I received bad news. From my last post, you know that I haven't exactly been having the best few months. Don't run away!! I promise this post will be encouraging!! =0)
As I've said before sometimes it's so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, because I know personally some people who are going through FAR greater trials than me, but you know what? God cares about what I'm going through and what I'm losing sleep over just as much. That's what makes Him so amazing.
So I won't go into too much detail, but I found out that my grandma's health is deteriorating and hospice will most likely be coming out. My grandma is wonderful and I know that if God's not through with her a miracle will happen, but thinking of the pain that she could possibly be in absolutely breaks my heart. On the same day, I found out that Aaron's start date for his contract was pushed out another 2 weeks. God is providing all our needs, but wow, it's going on 4 months in April that he hasn't been working!! To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement along with the everyday stresses of work.
The same day, as some you already know, I had held in my tears at work and planned on having a good cry when I made it to my car. As I turned on the car, the words that were blaring were, "Great is Your Faithfulness, Oh God...You lead us by still waters and to mercy and nothing can keep us apart..." Don't you just love how God reminds us that everything is going to be okay. =0) Yes my grandma is very ill and yes we will probably go another month without Aaron getting a paycheck, but God is on our side and it will be all right.
Want to hear something amazing...God actually provided Aaron an opportunity to make some cash on Saturday. AMAZING!! I'm crying as I'm typing this!! God is good, folks, REALLY, REALLY good!!!
As I was leading worship on Wednesday night we did the song "Jesus Lover of My Soul." The lyrics, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go." have never rang so true. That's the amazing thing about God. He is our rock. When our world seems to be crumbling around us, we can cling to Him. He alone can carry us through. We just have to lean on Him, trust Him, and lay our heaviness at His feet.

Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable..You Are

Some days are so much harder than other days, and sometimes being hopeful and having faith is so draining. It's even harder when you feel like you're carrying the hope all alone and no one seems to believe with you.
This morning during worship we did the song "You Are God Alone." Before we even started singing it, one particular part in the song started to resonate within me. "You're unchangeable, You're unshakeable, You're unstoppable. That's what You are." You see, no matter what's going on around us, how unstable, constantly changing and shaking, God is CONSTANT. He doesn't change and He never stops fighting for us or picking us up when we fall. He won't leave us in the valley forever, and He definitely won't make us walk through it alone.
So on days when on top of Aaron's unemployment, my migraine's are uncontrollable, our garbage disposal stops working, our dryer goes out, Brett gets sick, and I'm miserable at my job...I remember the one constant in my life...Jesus!
My devotion just yesterday talked about how looking back to the past can remind us of God's goodness and give us hope for the future. I know for me it reminds of where I've been and what God has brought me through. My God is able, and He's definitely greater than any circumstance I'm facing right now. I choose to continue to trust Him. He hasn't failed me and I know He is the One that never will.

Christmas Miracle and Stuff

So many of you know that I spoke of a "Christmas miracle" on Facebook. While I won't get into details I will share the most important parts. :)
Aaron is still unemployed, but Friday I got a call, and he got a call. This call made my/our week. I just sat and wept. It's so overwhelming when God shows how faithful He is. After a week full of sad tears, questioning how people could act or be a certain way...God showed me there is still good. We are blessed and now I will enjoy my week off with my family with a burden lifted. Aaron and I have confidence that he'll be employed again as of the first of the year. After all, we know Who our provider is and He's always on time. :)
I wrote this mostly to encourage you. Don't ever stop seeking, praying, and asking God for the things you need, the things you desire. After all, I had 2 brain surgeries before God healed me. There was a 3rd one scheduled and everything. It's all in His timing. We, of course, will never understand why He waits sometimes, while other times He answers right away. We just have to have faith that our Savior knows exactly what He is doing. He has us in His hands. He's always right there and He never leaves us in our desperate hour.
Praying for you all my dear friends, mostly that you never stop believing that our God is a God of miracles, sometimes even "Christmas miracles." ;0)

Brilliant Thought of a Child....

8 yr old:"Who cares if our prayers are answered or not. We still get to talk to God."

When I read this...I knew I had to write about it. What an amazing truth this child spoke, and all of us would be in a much better place if we truly lived with this mindset. We so easily forget what an amazing gift we have in prayer or as this child sees it "just talking to God."

How amazing is it that we serve a God who loves us enough to listen to us, truly wanting to know everything about us. He cares that we're hurting, He understands our uncontrollable sobs, He loves to see us happy, and He never abandons us in our time of need. We have a Heavenly Father who longs to spend time with us. He desperately wants us to confide in Him. It's quite mind boggling when I try to wrap my mind around it, especially when you take into consideration that He already knows everything about you.  He loves me in spite of my faults and failures. I read this quite a while back, but I love this quote so very much: "God loves us just as we are, but too much to leave us that way." 

I often get caught up in thinking of all the many mistakes I've made in my life. I forget what it says in Psalms 103:12: " As far as the East is from the West, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Most of the time I have such a hard time forgiving myself, I lose sight of the fact that He is faithful to forgive.

Basically I guess the whole point of this is to remind you to talk to your Daddy upstairs. =0) Let Him know your frustrations, pains, and all about the joy you have in your life. Tell Him what you need, what you want, but always remember He may not answer the way you want, or at all. You just have to have faith and know that He knows exactly what He's doing and what's best for you. Don't ever forget that HE loves you more than you could ever imagine. When life is hard and you don't understand, He's catching every tear that you cry and giving you that peace and strength to carry on. He'll never leave you, and He's always there walking right beside you. 

Remember,like this child does, how truly awesome it is to talk to God!! =0)