Heaven's Sounding Sweeter

"Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time. Seems like lately it's always on my mind.

Someday I'll leave this world behind. Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time."

I haven't heard this song in such a long time, but as I was driving home tonight these lyrics were playing in my head. This past week has been a rough one. Two major tragedies in our world and the sting of loss. Two of my dear friends are moving away this week along with Dex being sick. It's been so hard to not walk around crying. 

It just really makes you wish that Jesus would hurry up and come. Two scriptures ring so true at this very moment. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. ¹⁴ For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. And also Psalms 34:18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Life can be so hard sometimes. The hope we have though is this world is as bad as it gets for us. This is NOT our home and one day we will join our Savior where there are no more tears or sorrow.  I anxiously await this day and even long for it so much. I guess you could say I'm homesick. I'm sick of crying and I'm so sick of broken hearts. I am so grateful for God's peace and that He's always right here with us. I think of a song my grandpa wrote, "There is peace in the time of trouble. There is peace in the midst of the storm. There is peace though the world be raging..in the shelter of His arms." Thank God for His peaceful embrace, those loving arms that never let us go.  When the world is out of control, He's holding us safely in His arms. 

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar. I will soar with you above the storm.

Father you are King over the flood. I will be still, know you are God."

Phillippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding , will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Recent Happenings

As I sit here completely exhausted, I thought it was time I posted since it's  been a while.
First of all, I am so very grateful that Aaron is employed again. While the fact that his training has been in Buffalo, NY has been trying, I'm still so thankful. We miss him terribly, but he'll be back this weekend even if it is just Saturday. :0) We'll soak up all the time we have!
It's still so amazing to me how God has provided for us throughout this whole time. Aaron has yet to get a paycheck, but money has been coming in from here and there..cash, checks. I'm in awe of God's provision. He is so faithful.
There was a short period of time where I started questioning where God had placed me and where he was using me a couple of weeks ago. Right when I was literally about to throw in the towel, He showed me that was exactly where he wanted me. Things have been so much better since, and there is no other explanation BUT God.
Easter Sunday was amazing...as it always is. I had the privilege of taking a sweet little girl to church with me. It was so fun getting her ready, and Dex loved having his little girlfriend with us for the weekend. :0) We enjoyed the fun for the kiddos. The sweetest moment I shared with the little ones was when they were both chatting about how Jesus died on the cross and then came back to life on Easter. I love that their chatter was not about bunnies, but about the true reason we celebrate Easter, AKA Resurrection Sunday.

Worship was so very sweet and I couldn't stop the tears as we sang, "He became sin who knew no sin, that we might become His righteousness. He humbled Himself and carried the cross. Love so AMAZING. Jesus Messiah, name above all names, blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel. The rescue for sinners, the ransom from Heaven, Jesus Messiah..Lord of all." I felt so overwhelmed with His love, and if you've never felt it, you're missing out.

One really cool thing that happened as I was keeping my friends sweet little girl was she was running a fever one morning...102.4. As I was in the shower, I prayed that her fever would go down. When I checked it after I got out of the shower it had already gone down to 99.4..low grade. There is still power in prayer, folks. She was ready to play, but of course, like a good mommy/caregiver, I made her take it easy...just in case. :)
Well I'm sure I could ramble on and on, but after my steroid shot, (which I had hoped would give me energy,) I am exhausted. I believe I will be turning in early again tonight.

God's Capable Hands

I'm not even sure how to start this one because there is so much running through my mind today. I'll try to sort it all out in some sort of way.

Yesterday was a hard day for many reasons..honestly most of them had nothing to do with me and my daily anxieties. Of course work is still a struggle and we're still anxiously awaiting an official start date for Aaron to go back to work, but through it all God is sustaining me...giving me the strength to hold it together and take it day by day.

Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the trials some of my dear friends are facing. My last hour of work and on the way home I just couldn't help the tears from coming. I so desperately pray for miracles in each of their individual situations, and I so desperately want to take their pain away. And yes, I know that it is not in my power to solve their situations, but I'm so grateful I know the One who can. 

Yesterday on the drive home several songs, (you guessed it,) made me cry even harder, because the words are so true. One was by Kari Jobe. "Come to Me you broken one and I will give you peace. I will calm your waters, and I will whisper Peace be still. Take me upon you and I will give you peace. Come to me you burdened one, and I will give you joy. You will rise like eagles, and My joy will be your strength. Take me upon you, and I will give you joy." Sometimes I wish it wasn't weird to send mixed 'tapes' to everyone. Because so often I hear songs, and I so desperately want someone to hear it. Then again, maybe music doesn't move everyone the same as it does me. It's so soothing and healing to me. 

The other song was by Natalie Grant and yep I was crying some more. ;0) "I am strong all because of You. I stand in awe of every mountain that You move.I am changed. Yesterday is gone. I am safe from this moment on. And there's no fear when the night comes 'round...I'm in better hands now." See the situations my sweet friends are facing are so hard, and it hurts me to know that they're struggling with such a heavy burden. That's why I just get overwhelmed with tears at the part of "being in awe of every mountain that He's moved." I have seen His mighty miracles, and I have seen hopeless turned into hope in mere minutes. 

As I was going to bed last night about to read my devotion, this verse was the verse of the day, and WOW...I absolutely love it!!! The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

So glad that we have a God who saves. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about my friends, because God is holding them in His very capable hands, singing over them. :0)

Though My World May Fall..I'll Never Let You Go

I shared on Facebook this week that I received bad news. From my last post, you know that I haven't exactly been having the best few months. Don't run away!! I promise this post will be encouraging!! =0)
As I've said before sometimes it's so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, because I know personally some people who are going through FAR greater trials than me, but you know what? God cares about what I'm going through and what I'm losing sleep over just as much. That's what makes Him so amazing.
So I won't go into too much detail, but I found out that my grandma's health is deteriorating and hospice will most likely be coming out. My grandma is wonderful and I know that if God's not through with her a miracle will happen, but thinking of the pain that she could possibly be in absolutely breaks my heart. On the same day, I found out that Aaron's start date for his contract was pushed out another 2 weeks. God is providing all our needs, but wow, it's going on 4 months in April that he hasn't been working!! To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement along with the everyday stresses of work.
The same day, as some you already know, I had held in my tears at work and planned on having a good cry when I made it to my car. As I turned on the car, the words that were blaring were, "Great is Your Faithfulness, Oh God...You lead us by still waters and to mercy and nothing can keep us apart..." Don't you just love how God reminds us that everything is going to be okay. =0) Yes my grandma is very ill and yes we will probably go another month without Aaron getting a paycheck, but God is on our side and it will be all right.
Want to hear something amazing...God actually provided Aaron an opportunity to make some cash on Saturday. AMAZING!! I'm crying as I'm typing this!! God is good, folks, REALLY, REALLY good!!!
As I was leading worship on Wednesday night we did the song "Jesus Lover of My Soul." The lyrics, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go." have never rang so true. That's the amazing thing about God. He is our rock. When our world seems to be crumbling around us, we can cling to Him. He alone can carry us through. We just have to lean on Him, trust Him, and lay our heaviness at His feet.

Work+Stress=Migraine

I try my best not to complain, because I do know that I have it so great! The past few months have been  hard, and if I could change one thing in my life...I would be SO MUCH HAPPIER!!! HaHa! Don't we all say that?
You see, to be honest, ever since my company did what they did to our family, I have been miserable at work. Aaron has been out of work for almost 3 months now, and while God has taken care of us, it doesn't make it easy for ME to go to that place everyday. Today was probably the worst day of all..I literally sat at my desk and fought tears all day. I literally hate being there that much. Last night I had another migraine episode: face numb, eyes doing something weird, head pounding...I know it's all stress related, but I can't seem to turn off the stress. I just keep praying that God will help me get through this. Most days, I can praise him any way, but other days, I find myself relating so much with the David in Psalms 69: Save Me, Oh God for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying;
I know God is with me, walking right beside. It's just so very hard sometimes, and today is that day for me. The beautiful thing about it is like the song we sang at church Sunday says "I called. You answered, and You came to my rescue.." He's gently guiding me through this VERY stressful work situation and giving me the strength to work hard even though I'd rather not.
Yes, like any normal person, I want this situation to just resolve itself. I would love to go to work one day, and just magically forget that they're the reason that my husband has been unemployed for 3 months. I'd also like to forget that they don't seem to care how that effected me and still effects me.
For now, I will continue to trust God. He's been so faithful through all of this. As Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  I DO love God!! =0)
I am so very grateful that I'm employed. I just have to remind myself of this a lot lately. ;0)
I've said it before, but I am just so grateful that God laid it on my heart to read the Psalms along with my daily devotion. It has made a world of difference. Saturating my heart and soul with the word is why when you see me, I don't seem all doom and gloom. I'm just human and have hard days. I know where my Hope comes from, and I know that with Him by my side, I will endure each day at the dreaded work place. ;0)

God is Faithful

I'm sure a lot of you looked at this title and thought..DUH!!! I know there are some of you though that are probably in the midst of something and aren't quite sure of this. Let me share what God has shown me over the past few months.
As all of you know by now, some very unfortunate events took place that left Aaron unemployed. He is still riding the unemployment train, and we were even denied unemployment due to the odd circumstances that caused him to become jobless. You also know that we received a "Christmas miracle" that was FANTASTIC!!! I say all of that to say this, we have been living off my income for almost 3 months. I make WAY less than Aaron did. I am not "tooting our horn" when I say this, but we continued to tithe throughout this whole experience...the same amount as if Aaron was still getting paid. I questioned it a couple of times. Should we lower our amount to a 'true' 10%? After all, we're not making what we used to, but Aaron and I never felt a peace about it.
Again, I'm not saying any of this to paint us as 'holier than thou,' because trust me we're not, I'm not!! I'm saying that when we're faithful with what we have, God blesses it. There is NO EARTHLY way that the money we have in savings plus what I make every 2 weeks should have sustained us for this long. Oh yeah...guess what...it's still sustaining us!!! We haven't depleted anything!!! It's crazy and there's no explanation for it, BUT GOD!!! AMAZING!!!
You see, this isn't just a lesson in tithing, although I do think that it is so very important and have seen firsthand God multiply and provide where there shouldn't be. It's about trusting God with everything. It's about giving Him that heavy burden, that load your tired and weary from, and trusting that He's faithful to take care of it. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." God is faithful to give you rest, joy, peace through whatever circumstance or storm that you are facing. He is faithful, SO FAITHFUL!!! This morning we sang the song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) and every time we get to this verse, I cry. "The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures."  God's promises are not like our promises...they are TRUTH!!! He is faithful.
This morning as I was driving into church I read this verse and rang true with what has been on my heart. Isaiah 25:1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth"

Willing Heart

As this year continues to tick by, I've realized, (well I've always known,) I want SO MUCH MORE out of life. Don't get me wrong, if I look back at my relationship with God last year, and where I am this year, it is definitely in a fresh and new place. The truth of the matter is I'm still not satisfied. How could I EVER be satisfied?!?! I want to DO more! I want to BE more! I want to SEE more! I want to LEARN more. Is this making sense?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that until Christ returns, I don't want to ever be satisfied with where I am. I want to constantly be moving and growing. I never want to be complacent when it comes to God and His works.
Last year was the first year I didn't give up on a year devotional plan. I actually made it through the whole thing. So this year, I have started a new one, but along with the devotion, I am also reading several chapters of Psalms each night. Once I'm done with Psalms, we'll see where I decide to read next. :0) You see, I'm saturating my heart and mind with His word. That knowledge is SO important, and I can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement this has been to me over the past couple of months.
Prayer has always been so very important to me, but this year I've taken my conversations with God to a new level. You see, in reading His word, He makes it very clear that He wants to hear from us. Therefore, I have been storming Heaven with pleas for miracles, peace, rest, joy...You get the idea. :0) Prayer is such a gift, but more than that..it's such a powerful tool. Prayer truly changes things, and this year I am praying and believing that God will move mountains. Miracles are not a thing of the past, folks. I am a one, after all! :)
Thanks and praise...wow, this is a big one!! How can anyone go through a single day and not thank God for loving them? I've noticed that even my praise and worship is becoming more intimate. Honestly there's probably not a song I haven't cried too. Each Sunday and Wednesday, even the times when I feel like I need a break, God gives me the strength I need to lead worship, but often times He even gives me a scripture to share. These scriptures often result in me crying, but it's just awesome to be able to share what God is showing me and my heart through worship.
I guess to sum up this post I am SUPER excited about what God is doing in my life! I am EXCITED that I'm not satisfied with just going through the motions and just sitting in the seat. I want to do His work. I DESPERATELY want Him to use me! The coolest part about it..He IS using ME!!! You see all it takes is a willing heart!!