Why Do I Worship

I think we all know the verse above. We were made to worship and praise the Lord. I'm not sure why, but lately I've started to think about why I worship. I think present changes and direction have really made me start questioning why I do what I do and why worship has always been a passion of mine. 

At night after my devotions, I began pondering this question: Why do I Worship? You see the question isn't why anyone else does. I need to explore the answer for me. I've never understood why getting people to worship is like pulling teeth. I have always questioned this, because I know God has done so much for all of us. Honestly the cross itself is enough to praise him for all the days of our lives.

While examining my heart, I came up with a ton of reasons that I worship Jesus, the Lover of my soul. 

Let's start with the lyrics of this song, "He's taken me from the miry clay." I can't count how many times I've been rescued by my Savior. He pulled me out of the mess of my bad decisions. He loved me when I was unlovable. He died for me knowing all the mistakes I would make and would continue to make.

He's healed me countless times. Instead of having a 3rd brain surgery, I was healed and the doctor cancelled the surgery. I was healed/delivered from bulimia, a deep dark path I never thought I would break free of. He's healed my broken heart more times than I can count.

He gives me peace in the midst of every storm of life. "There is peace in the time of trouble. There is peace in the midst of the storm. There is peace though the world be raging, in the shelter of His arms." There is nothing that compares to the His peace. It has enveloped me so many times when I felt I could not go on.

I could go on and on. I praise Him for keeping me and my family safe, that we're all healthy, we have what we need but also many things that we want. God has blessed  me far beyond what I deserve. I praise Him mostly because He loves me. He loves me in spite of me. He doesn't care about the many flaws I drive myself insane about. He loves me from my freckled face to my weird toes. 

Let's face it, I don't worship Him for what He can give, but I worship Him because He deserves my highest praise. I am often, well actually always moved to tears when I worship. His love is truly overwhelming. The beautiful thing about Jesus is He loves to bless His children. I often realize my headache or aches and pains disappear while I'm in His presence.

If we all truly grasped the message of the cross, and the fact that He Loves US SO very much, worship at church would truly be a joyous time, a life changing time. It wouldn't just be at church either, it would bleed into our everyday lives, and boy how we could change this lost and dying world. I worship Jesus because I love Him so much, and I want my life to exude that love, so others will see Him in me.

Willing Heart

As this year continues to tick by, I've realized, (well I've always known,) I want SO MUCH MORE out of life. Don't get me wrong, if I look back at my relationship with God last year, and where I am this year, it is definitely in a fresh and new place. The truth of the matter is I'm still not satisfied. How could I EVER be satisfied?!?! I want to DO more! I want to BE more! I want to SEE more! I want to LEARN more. Is this making sense?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that until Christ returns, I don't want to ever be satisfied with where I am. I want to constantly be moving and growing. I never want to be complacent when it comes to God and His works.
Last year was the first year I didn't give up on a year devotional plan. I actually made it through the whole thing. So this year, I have started a new one, but along with the devotion, I am also reading several chapters of Psalms each night. Once I'm done with Psalms, we'll see where I decide to read next. :0) You see, I'm saturating my heart and mind with His word. That knowledge is SO important, and I can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement this has been to me over the past couple of months.
Prayer has always been so very important to me, but this year I've taken my conversations with God to a new level. You see, in reading His word, He makes it very clear that He wants to hear from us. Therefore, I have been storming Heaven with pleas for miracles, peace, rest, joy...You get the idea. :0) Prayer is such a gift, but more than that..it's such a powerful tool. Prayer truly changes things, and this year I am praying and believing that God will move mountains. Miracles are not a thing of the past, folks. I am a one, after all! :)
Thanks and praise...wow, this is a big one!! How can anyone go through a single day and not thank God for loving them? I've noticed that even my praise and worship is becoming more intimate. Honestly there's probably not a song I haven't cried too. Each Sunday and Wednesday, even the times when I feel like I need a break, God gives me the strength I need to lead worship, but often times He even gives me a scripture to share. These scriptures often result in me crying, but it's just awesome to be able to share what God is showing me and my heart through worship.
I guess to sum up this post I am SUPER excited about what God is doing in my life! I am EXCITED that I'm not satisfied with just going through the motions and just sitting in the seat. I want to do His work. I DESPERATELY want Him to use me! The coolest part about it..He IS using ME!!! You see all it takes is a willing heart!!

Weak Week

This was one of those weeks where I would have been 'happy' in bed with a box of tissues crying. I'm pretty sure I cried every single day this week. Thursday night I cried myself to sleep. Like I said, it was just one of those weeks where crawling into a hole and hiding from any other 'news' seemed so much better than facing the world. Obviously I was a big girl, and I made it through, but it wasn't easy.
I won't pinpoint all the tidbits of news that broke my heart or discouraged me this week, because the details don't really matter. I think that we can all relate to storm after storm, trial after trial, and desperately wishing for a break, a moment to catch our breath. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." This passage resonated with me when I read it Thursday night leading to further tears.
The amazing thing to me is that while things are not magically fixed today and honestly they probably won't be tomorrow either, I am still hopeful. I've said it before, but as I continue to make it through the Psalms and listen to Praise and worship music, my heart and soul can find rest and even joy in the midst of the most tumultuous storm. This week as Kari Jobe's album was playing for the millionth time at work, the song "Find You on My Knees" came on, and as you guessed it, I started crying. These words rang so true in my heart..especially while I was at work, (my least favorite place these days.) "When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong, when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal, when my faith is shaken, and my heart is broken, and my joy is stolen, God I know that, You lift me up."
While I always try to focus on the positives in negative situations, recently I've really had to remind myself that all I have is today. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. God has my tomorrows covered. Being "still" and knowing He is God seems to be a common theme. I always go back to that song every time I'm struggling. "When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with  you above the storm. Father you are King over the Flood. I will be still, know You are God."
I'm so very grateful that God's word is new every time I read it and how praise and worship music soothes my soul. Without that and the amazing people God has blessed me with, I would surely be lost at sea in the storms of life.

Prayer, Praise, and Psalms

It's so strange how one minute I can be okay the next minute I am not. Obviously I am physically okay, but emotionally I'm on a roller coaster. The wonderful thing is I can still say with 100% honesty is God is good!
Work makes me miserable these days, and I believe that ties in to each day that Aaron is unemployed. Being there and knowing that he should be working there too has been one thing that's SO hard to get passed. Here's what I've learned in the past month: my key to survival: Praise and Worship music, Psalms, and constant conversation with God.  I've always loved the Psalms, but they've meant so much more to me these past few weeks. When I read verses like Psalms 32:7 You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance, it's impossible not to be encouraged. That's what I love about God, if you seek Him, you ALWAYS find Him. So many times when I've been anxious, verses like this are revealed to me when I take the time to read His word.
Music, oh MUSIC!! I truly don't know what I would've done this week without Kari Jobe and Gateway Worship. They've just been on repeat, saturating my heart with God's goodness and grace. One lyric that really spoke to me this week was, "I'm not gonna worry. I know that You've got me right inside the palm of Your hands. Each and every moment, what's good and what gets broken happens just the way You planned.  But You're Here. You're real. I know I can trust You." I irritate myself so much when  I don't trust, especially since I KNOW I can. I KNOW HE won't ever let me down.
It might sound silly to some, but  I talk to God constantly. We talk a lot while I'm frustrated at work. ;0) I know without Him, I will go insane, so I constantly seek Him for wisdom and peace. It does say in Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And of course in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. It's like I've said in a previous post and I'll always remember Pray Until Something Happens.
Yes, our situation hasn't changed..YET. However, I believe with all my heart that the door was closed at my work so that Aaron could move on to bigger and better things. "Until God opens the next door for you, praise Him in the hallway." That is exactly what I'm going to do praise and pray until something happens.