Weak Week

This was one of those weeks where I would have been 'happy' in bed with a box of tissues crying. I'm pretty sure I cried every single day this week. Thursday night I cried myself to sleep. Like I said, it was just one of those weeks where crawling into a hole and hiding from any other 'news' seemed so much better than facing the world. Obviously I was a big girl, and I made it through, but it wasn't easy.
I won't pinpoint all the tidbits of news that broke my heart or discouraged me this week, because the details don't really matter. I think that we can all relate to storm after storm, trial after trial, and desperately wishing for a break, a moment to catch our breath. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." This passage resonated with me when I read it Thursday night leading to further tears.
The amazing thing to me is that while things are not magically fixed today and honestly they probably won't be tomorrow either, I am still hopeful. I've said it before, but as I continue to make it through the Psalms and listen to Praise and worship music, my heart and soul can find rest and even joy in the midst of the most tumultuous storm. This week as Kari Jobe's album was playing for the millionth time at work, the song "Find You on My Knees" came on, and as you guessed it, I started crying. These words rang so true in my heart..especially while I was at work, (my least favorite place these days.) "When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong, when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal, when my faith is shaken, and my heart is broken, and my joy is stolen, God I know that, You lift me up."
While I always try to focus on the positives in negative situations, recently I've really had to remind myself that all I have is today. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. God has my tomorrows covered. Being "still" and knowing He is God seems to be a common theme. I always go back to that song every time I'm struggling. "When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with  you above the storm. Father you are King over the Flood. I will be still, know You are God."
I'm so very grateful that God's word is new every time I read it and how praise and worship music soothes my soul. Without that and the amazing people God has blessed me with, I would surely be lost at sea in the storms of life.