There has definitely been a lot going on lately. I guess a lot of it has mostly been jumbled up in my head, mostly thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams. In a lot of ways, it appears that there truly is a light that we can 'almost' see at the end of the tunnel. It's so close in so many ways, but still far enough away. God is still good and has been so faithful.
The crazy thing to me is that when things seem to be looking up, that's when my mind starts playing tricks on me. Struggles from the past that I thought I buried long ago rear their ugly heads. At least I know there truly aren't any new 'plays' against me. The old ones seem to work just fine. It's really silly that the same struggles are so easy to fall back into.
Trust me, when I say this...I AM NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS!!! =0) PROMISE!! I have never been a very confident person. Truthfully on my best day, I'm quite insecure. God has brought me a long way with this. I used to always stand with my arms crossed so no one could see my stomach. I believe I've blogged about it before, but my image issues even caused me to be bulimic for years. God brought me out of that, and the verse that I read and meditated on constantly was Psalms 139:13 I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.WOW..that in itself is pretty amazing to me..apparently God speaks a lot to me through the Psalms.That's all I've been reading the past couple of months since Aaron has been unemployed, and I've been fighting off migraines.
Again these issues have been coming up. It's almost laughable to me, and I wouldn't even blog about it except I know that so many women deal with image issues, self worth. Lately I've been feeling not good enough, not pretty enough...BLAH BLAH BLAH...LIES LIES LIES!!
The difference between now and ten years ago is I know these are lies. =0) I know that I am a child of the King. He created me, and to Him, I am SO BEAUTIFUL!! The freckles, one dimple, blue eyes, all His perfect blue print for me!
Since I KNOW all this is TRUE...I need to stand up tall and proud because I am my Father's daughter. This may not have made since to any one but me, but it felt good to get a little of the jumbled mess out of my brain!! ;0) And before anyone jumps on Aaron, he does tell me I'm beautiful all the time! =0)
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