Lately

It's been a while, so I figured it was time to write. This one may only be interesting to those who actually know and care about me. ;-)
There are big things coming for the Blain household. We've officially decided to put our house on the market at the first of the year. We've already starting getting it market ready, and we really hope to have it on the market in January. At this point we're not sure what the next step is. There are many places I'd love to live...Colorado, WISCONSIN...Keller, TX...LOL.
For now we will become debt free, and then through lots of prayer determine where the best place for our family will be. Aaron is seriously considering New Zealand. To me, this is INSANE!! I understand where he's coming from, but there's a part of me that knows I could never be happy that far away from my friends and family. Then again...never say never. :-) Prayers greatly appreciated.
On another note, I've started to enjoy running. I'm still a little discouraged about the way I look...or how I think I look. Can't decide if it's 'bulimic' brain or not. Either way, I'm proud of myself for taking on something I have always hated. So far my max distance without stopping is 3.31 miles. Now THAT's impressive!! ;-)
On another note, I just finished Matt Redman's The Unquenchable Worshipper. It was well worth the time. It opened my eyes a lot, and I truly think I will be a better worship leader because of it. "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about YOU Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about you Jesus."
That pretty much sums up lately. Perhaps I'll have more time to blog when I'm off the whole week of Thanksgiving!!! Work has been exhausting, so I can't wait!!!

The Neverending Weight Battle

I know the title made several people roll their eyes..especially coming from me. If you understand and know my past though, you'll definitely understand the title.
I've posted on here about my battle with bulimia. I was bulimic for years, but can say with complete honesty that I haven't ventured down that slippery slop in at least 10 years. While that is a huge accomplishment, sadly those thoughts never go away..at least not up to this point.
Probably within the past few months I've put on about 5 lbs. Yes I understand that's not a lot, but it's SUPER depressing when your jeans are snug and your shirts don't fit quite they way they used to. I am proud to say that I am heading down the right path to shed these extra LBs...diet and exercise. I've actually started doing the one thing I've hated my whole life...RUNNING!! That got a huge HOORAY from a few of my crazy runner friends. ;-)
The thing is when you've had a bulimic past, it's so very hard to ever view yourself as 'skinny.' Even when I was 5lbs lighter, most days I still didn't see the skinny person every one else saw and still sees. It's a sad truth, but it is what it is.
I don't want this blog post to be a huge downer, so here's what I do when I struggle. I remember the verse that got me through those dark days so long ago, "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139:14 You see, God loves me with or without the extra LBs. He doesn't measure his love by how much the scale says or how tight my pants are. He made me just the way I am.
This takes me back to something I heard at Women of Faith, "God can use your past to give someone a future." Yes it absolutely stinks that I was ever bulimic, but I am an overcomer. I'm proof that there's hope for anyone who struggles with these thoughts or actions.
I have to remember that no matter how skinny I am, I am beautiful. We're all beautiful..created in the image of our Maker.