I know the title made several people roll their eyes..especially coming from me. If you understand and know my past though, you'll definitely understand the title.
I've posted on here about my battle with bulimia. I was bulimic for years, but can say with complete honesty that I haven't ventured down that slippery slop in at least 10 years. While that is a huge accomplishment, sadly those thoughts never go away..at least not up to this point.
Probably within the past few months I've put on about 5 lbs. Yes I understand that's not a lot, but it's SUPER depressing when your jeans are snug and your shirts don't fit quite they way they used to. I am proud to say that I am heading down the right path to shed these extra LBs...diet and exercise. I've actually started doing the one thing I've hated my whole life...RUNNING!! That got a huge HOORAY from a few of my crazy runner friends. ;-)
The thing is when you've had a bulimic past, it's so very hard to ever view yourself as 'skinny.' Even when I was 5lbs lighter, most days I still didn't see the skinny person every one else saw and still sees. It's a sad truth, but it is what it is.
I don't want this blog post to be a huge downer, so here's what I do when I struggle. I remember the verse that got me through those dark days so long ago, "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139:14 You see, God loves me with or without the extra LBs. He doesn't measure his love by how much the scale says or how tight my pants are. He made me just the way I am.
This takes me back to something I heard at Women of Faith, "God can use your past to give someone a future." Yes it absolutely stinks that I was ever bulimic, but I am an overcomer. I'm proof that there's hope for anyone who struggles with these thoughts or actions.
I have to remember that no matter how skinny I am, I am beautiful. We're all beautiful..created in the image of our Maker.
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