Sunday, February 24, 2013

God is Faithful

I'm sure a lot of you looked at this title and thought..DUH!!! I know there are some of you though that are probably in the midst of something and aren't quite sure of this. Let me share what God has shown me over the past few months.
As all of you know by now, some very unfortunate events took place that left Aaron unemployed. He is still riding the unemployment train, and we were even denied unemployment due to the odd circumstances that caused him to become jobless. You also know that we received a "Christmas miracle" that was FANTASTIC!!! I say all of that to say this, we have been living off my income for almost 3 months. I make WAY less than Aaron did. I am not "tooting our horn" when I say this, but we continued to tithe throughout this whole experience...the same amount as if Aaron was still getting paid. I questioned it a couple of times. Should we lower our amount to a 'true' 10%? After all, we're not making what we used to, but Aaron and I never felt a peace about it.
Again, I'm not saying any of this to paint us as 'holier than thou,' because trust me we're not, I'm not!! I'm saying that when we're faithful with what we have, God blesses it. There is NO EARTHLY way that the money we have in savings plus what I make every 2 weeks should have sustained us for this long. Oh yeah...guess what...it's still sustaining us!!! We haven't depleted anything!!! It's crazy and there's no explanation for it, BUT GOD!!! AMAZING!!!
You see, this isn't just a lesson in tithing, although I do think that it is so very important and have seen firsthand God multiply and provide where there shouldn't be. It's about trusting God with everything. It's about giving Him that heavy burden, that load your tired and weary from, and trusting that He's faithful to take care of it. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." God is faithful to give you rest, joy, peace through whatever circumstance or storm that you are facing. He is faithful, SO FAITHFUL!!! This morning we sang the song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) and every time we get to this verse, I cry. "The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures."  God's promises are not like our promises...they are TRUTH!!! He is faithful.
This morning as I was driving into church I read this verse and rang true with what has been on my heart. Isaiah 25:1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth"

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Willing Heart

As this year continues to tick by, I've realized, (well I've always known,) I want SO MUCH MORE out of life. Don't get me wrong, if I look back at my relationship with God last year, and where I am this year, it is definitely in a fresh and new place. The truth of the matter is I'm still not satisfied. How could I EVER be satisfied?!?! I want to DO more! I want to BE more! I want to SEE more! I want to LEARN more. Is this making sense?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that until Christ returns, I don't want to ever be satisfied with where I am. I want to constantly be moving and growing. I never want to be complacent when it comes to God and His works.
Last year was the first year I didn't give up on a year devotional plan. I actually made it through the whole thing. So this year, I have started a new one, but along with the devotion, I am also reading several chapters of Psalms each night. Once I'm done with Psalms, we'll see where I decide to read next. :0) You see, I'm saturating my heart and mind with His word. That knowledge is SO important, and I can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement this has been to me over the past couple of months.
Prayer has always been so very important to me, but this year I've taken my conversations with God to a new level. You see, in reading His word, He makes it very clear that He wants to hear from us. Therefore, I have been storming Heaven with pleas for miracles, peace, rest, joy...You get the idea. :0) Prayer is such a gift, but more than that..it's such a powerful tool. Prayer truly changes things, and this year I am praying and believing that God will move mountains. Miracles are not a thing of the past, folks. I am a one, after all! :)
Thanks and praise...wow, this is a big one!! How can anyone go through a single day and not thank God for loving them? I've noticed that even my praise and worship is becoming more intimate. Honestly there's probably not a song I haven't cried too. Each Sunday and Wednesday, even the times when I feel like I need a break, God gives me the strength I need to lead worship, but often times He even gives me a scripture to share. These scriptures often result in me crying, but it's just awesome to be able to share what God is showing me and my heart through worship.
I guess to sum up this post I am SUPER excited about what God is doing in my life! I am EXCITED that I'm not satisfied with just going through the motions and just sitting in the seat. I want to do His work. I DESPERATELY want Him to use me! The coolest part about it..He IS using ME!!! You see all it takes is a willing heart!!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Lies Lies Lies...

There has definitely been a lot going on lately. I guess a lot of it has mostly been jumbled up in my head, mostly thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams.  In a lot of ways, it appears that there truly is a light that we can 'almost' see at the end of the tunnel. It's so close in so many ways, but still far enough away. God is still good and has been so faithful.
The crazy thing to me is that when things seem to be looking up, that's when my mind starts playing tricks on me. Struggles from the past that I thought I buried long ago rear their ugly heads. At least I know there truly aren't any new 'plays' against me. The old ones seem to work just fine. It's really silly that the same struggles are so easy to fall back into.
Trust me, when I say this...I AM NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS!!! =0) PROMISE!! I have never been a very confident person. Truthfully on my best day, I'm quite insecure. God has brought me a long way with this. I used to always stand with my arms crossed so no one could see my stomach. I believe I've blogged about it before, but my image issues even caused me to be bulimic for years. God brought me out of that, and the verse that I read and meditated on constantly was Psalms 139:13 I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.WOW..that in itself is pretty amazing to me..apparently God speaks a lot to me through the Psalms.That's all I've been reading the past couple of months since Aaron has been unemployed, and I've been fighting off migraines.
Again these issues have been coming up. It's almost laughable to me, and I wouldn't even blog about it except I know that so many women deal with image issues, self worth. Lately I've been feeling not good enough, not pretty enough...BLAH BLAH BLAH...LIES LIES LIES!!
The difference between now and ten years ago is I know these are lies. =0) I know that I am a child of the King. He created me, and to Him, I am SO BEAUTIFUL!! The freckles, one dimple, blue eyes, all His perfect blue print for me!
Since I KNOW all this is TRUE...I need to stand up tall and proud because I am my Father's daughter. This may not have made since to any one but me, but it felt good to get a little of the jumbled mess out of my brain!! ;0) And before anyone jumps on Aaron, he does tell me I'm beautiful all the time! =0)

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Weak Week

This was one of those weeks where I would have been 'happy' in bed with a box of tissues crying. I'm pretty sure I cried every single day this week. Thursday night I cried myself to sleep. Like I said, it was just one of those weeks where crawling into a hole and hiding from any other 'news' seemed so much better than facing the world. Obviously I was a big girl, and I made it through, but it wasn't easy.
I won't pinpoint all the tidbits of news that broke my heart or discouraged me this week, because the details don't really matter. I think that we can all relate to storm after storm, trial after trial, and desperately wishing for a break, a moment to catch our breath. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." This passage resonated with me when I read it Thursday night leading to further tears.
The amazing thing to me is that while things are not magically fixed today and honestly they probably won't be tomorrow either, I am still hopeful. I've said it before, but as I continue to make it through the Psalms and listen to Praise and worship music, my heart and soul can find rest and even joy in the midst of the most tumultuous storm. This week as Kari Jobe's album was playing for the millionth time at work, the song "Find You on My Knees" came on, and as you guessed it, I started crying. These words rang so true in my heart..especially while I was at work, (my least favorite place these days.) "When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong, when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal, when my faith is shaken, and my heart is broken, and my joy is stolen, God I know that, You lift me up."
While I always try to focus on the positives in negative situations, recently I've really had to remind myself that all I have is today. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. God has my tomorrows covered. Being "still" and knowing He is God seems to be a common theme. I always go back to that song every time I'm struggling. "When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with  you above the storm. Father you are King over the Flood. I will be still, know You are God."
I'm so very grateful that God's word is new every time I read it and how praise and worship music soothes my soul. Without that and the amazing people God has blessed me with, I would surely be lost at sea in the storms of life.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable..You Are

Some days are so much harder than other days, and sometimes being hopeful and having faith is so draining. It's even harder when you feel like you're carrying the hope all alone and no one seems to believe with you.
This morning during worship we did the song "You Are God Alone." Before we even started singing it, one particular part in the song started to resonate within me. "You're unchangeable, You're unshakeable, You're unstoppable. That's what You are." You see, no matter what's going on around us, how unstable, constantly changing and shaking, God is CONSTANT. He doesn't change and He never stops fighting for us or picking us up when we fall. He won't leave us in the valley forever, and He definitely won't make us walk through it alone.
So on days when on top of Aaron's unemployment, my migraine's are uncontrollable, our garbage disposal stops working, our dryer goes out, Brett gets sick, and I'm miserable at my job...I remember the one constant in my life...Jesus!
My devotion just yesterday talked about how looking back to the past can remind us of God's goodness and give us hope for the future. I know for me it reminds of where I've been and what God has brought me through. My God is able, and He's definitely greater than any circumstance I'm facing right now. I choose to continue to trust Him. He hasn't failed me and I know He is the One that never will.