ER/Hospital Stay and What Comes Next

First of all, thank you so much for everyone who's texted, called, facebooked, and prayed for me recently. I was literally sitting in hospital bed crying because I was so overwhelmed with the concern and love I felt.
So I'll try to explain what warranted the 911 call Thursday night. I had been asleep in bed for a couple of hours and I woke up feeling incredibly off. I was trembling, lightheaded,  my heart was racing, and I felt like my head was filling up. I can't even fully describe it, but I was afraid to fall back asleep. Aaron was going to drive me to the ER, but since neither of us have ever had to we had no idea where to go. We called 911, and the firemen and eventually the ambulance people came. They took me to the hospital, but there was no siren or anything. I honestly felt like an idiot while trying to describe how I was feeling, because it was just off.
By the time I got to the hospital, my symptoms had calmed down. I gave them the CD of the images from my CT scan and then we literally sat for hours after they took blood and stuff.  I was beginning to think I was crazy and that it was just some sort of panic attack. That was when the nurse came in and said that I would be admitted to the NeuroICU and that there was an issue with my shunt. If you want to see me have a emotional meltdown, tell me my  shunt is broke.
Basically what they told me is that there was a cyst of fluid on my brain and that the tubing was broken which was possibly causing the backup of fluid. They would just cut my neck and fix the tubing and then all should be good. I was okay with the minor surgery and so grateful it wasn't worse. The neurosurgeon came in the next day and said he felt I didn't need surgery. He said that he thinks that shunt has been broken for a while, and he also felt that it had served it's purpose. He even said the cyst wasn't causing any issues or pressing on anything, and that it was normal. That's when all the other tests started. They scanned my stomach, my chest, did an MRI on my brain, scanned my neck, took lots of blood, and even squeezed in a pregnancy test. Nothing jumped out at them, and all the tests came back negative. The only thing I found out for sure from being in the hospital is that my potassium level was low. Everything else was a theory. I was given a prescription for Hydrocodone, and a couple of vitamins and told to keep my appointment I already have scheduled with the neurologist Monday.
Needless to say I am frustrated and a little scared. Something had to cause the numbness, the speech issues, and then all the additional symptoms I experienced on Thursday night. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything to be wrong. I just want a reason. The reason will help me prevent ever feeling that way again. Right now, I don't have that peace of mind, because I was told nothing.
If you could do me one favor it would be to continue to pray. Pray that if I don't get an answer Monday, that God will give me peace that I will never have an episode again. I want so badly to feel normal, to not have a headache, not feel weak and off. Thank you everyone again for your prayers and concern. It means more to me than you'll ever know!

Tuesday Tunes-You'll Come-Hillsong

I've been slacking with this, but I'm sure most of you know that a lot has been going on lately! This is one of the songs that I plan on doing Sunday night!! I really think it's awesome! Enjoy! I'll try to get better about posting every Tuesday!!
Also, I hope to be posting with an update on me once I see the neurologist Monday!! Keep praying please! =0) I'm not feeling great, but not terrible either.

Sometimes It Just Feels Like TOO Much

I'll start with the good first! Aaron is on his way to normalcy. He got his drain taken out today, and while it wasn't a pleasant experience, he now has the freedom to do the simple everyday tasks that were limited with it in. He got nauseous immediately after they took it out, but is now on his way to San Antonio for his last week of this assignment. Praise God he's recovering well.
Many of you know that last night was Aaron's first full length sermon at our church. He made me so proud, and the word he brought was awesome. The whole service was actually great. God must have known that I needed this with the events that took place after the service.
Our pastor had asked us to dinner and as we waited my vision became spotty in one eye. I asked Aaron to drive, and by the time we got to the restaurant that was better. By the time we sat down, I started feeling incredibly off. When I was trying to talk, I couldn't actually verbalize my full thought. It was fragmented and very frustrating for me. It was so loud at IHOP, no one else seemed to notice. I got up to go to the restroom a couple of times and when I came and sat back down, my right hand became numb. It moved up my arm until eventually the right side of my face was numb too. After a while it passed and then the headache set in. It was so bazaar how it just came on so quickly, lingered for a while, and then settled into a headache.
Last night I cried a lot, because for those of you who don't know, I have a shunt. I had two surgeries on my head about 12 years ago, and haven't had a problem since. Praise God. The numbness definitely brought back memories of that scary time. Needless to say, even though God healed me before I had to have the 3rd surgery that was scheduled, I'm finding it so hard not to be scared.
At my doctor's appointment today all they could say is that my pupils were sluggish, I'm assuming in responding to the light. She scheduled a CT scan and referred me to a neurologist. So now we're in the waiting game. She did let me know that if the numbness happens again an ER visit is in order.
So if I could ask anything of you, I would ask this that you pray for peace and strength for me. I feel like such an idiot for being scared knowing that I have experienced God's miraculous healing, but yet, I can't help myself. I haven't forgotten what He's done, so I really don't know what my problem is. ;0) More than that though, pray that these headaches cease and that the scans come back clear. Pray that I can once again praise God for a clear report!!
The words to Kari Jobe's song "What Love is This" really spoke to me today...especially this verse. "You never change. You are the God You say You are. When I'm afraid you calm and still my beating heart. You stay the same when hope is just a distant thought. You take my pain and You lead me to the Cross."
This verse always gives me such peace too. "I will both lay me down in peace and sleep:for you, Lord, only make me dwell in safety."
Thank you, Lord for the safety in Your arms! I pray when I'm afraid, I allow you to hold me close and let Your peace wash over me!

Exhausted and Overwhelmed...Peace and Joy

So the past couple of weeks in the Blain household have not been easy. Between Dex's staph infection on his finger..then staph on my face and the pain that has been, talks Brett and I have had, and then to top it all off Aaron's more complicated gall bladder surgery...it's been a bit overwhelming.
I haven't been feeling well at all: partly exhaustion, partly antibiotics, partly body fighting off infection and partly waking up every 4 hours to give Aaron his pain meds. I've found my self on the brink of tears quite often. While anticipating doing worship this evening, I truly thought I don't think I can do this. My heart, my emotions, I just felt like I had spent every ounce of strength I had in me. How on Earth could I lead anyone? I needed the help. Well, thankfully I showed up to practice and when I started singing, I immediately felt all the overwhelming exhaustion melt away. It was replaced with a peace, even joy. We sang two songs: "How He Loves" and "I Love You Lord." What better way to get in the right mindset than to focus on how much our Father in Heaven loves us. I couldn't even think about the weight of the past couple of weeks any longer once I started singing.
That's how awesome God is. He shows up when we're at our wits end..when we feel we can't make it any longer. He never disappoints. As cheesy as it sounds, He truly is an 'on time God.' Tears were flowing tonight,  and it felt amazing. Worship was amazing tonight, and the only One who deserves the credit for that is God. I feel so refreshed. While I'm still physically exhausted, I feel like I'm ready to take on this next week. I am trusting in God that it will get better.
The AM and PM services were both amazing. I can't even describe it, but there is just something so precious about the presence of God. I'm super stoked about what God is doing at Crosspoint Church!!

Chin Infection and Gall Bladder Surgery

Instead of writing the longest Facebook status ever written, I figured this was the best way to update everyone. First of all, this morning I went and had my follow up visit for my chin infection. The packing was removed, and basically with antibiotics and cream, the hole will  have to heal from the inside out. It's disgusting still, and I will probably have a scar, but it's real low on my chin. I'm sure it will hardly be noticeable. =0) I'm not feeling all that great, and the doc said it's because my body is fighting hard against the infection. Also, one of my antibiotics is known for making a very unhappy tummy.
Okay, so first and foremost, Aaron is okay. The surgery took a lot longer than anticipated, but his gall bladder was successfully removed. Because it should've been taken out back in August when his pain originally started, he has this bulb thing attached to him to let fluid drain out. Apparently his gall bladder was in super bad shape: inflamed and infected. Until this is removed, I get the wonderful job of emptying it every 30 minutes or so. It looks like red Gatorade, so it's not too bad.
While in the waiting room I had a terrible headache and felt nauseous. I'm sure it was mostly because I hadn't eaten since earlier this morning and nerves about the surgery lasting so long. Once I was able to go see Aaron, I had to stop the nurse in the middle of her instructions to run to the bathroom to throw up! After that, I was given some graham crackers and almost immediately started feeling better. Needless to say I cried a lot today, but I thank God that we are both home in one piece and on the mend.
Please pray for Aaron. The complications that are possible are pretty scary, so just pray that he heals perfectly.
On a side note, Aaron on pain meds is quite amusing!! =0) There's always silver lining!

Living Defeated instead of Victorious

"This is my prayer in the battle when triumph is still on it's way. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so firm on his promise I stand."

Today was rough. I'm not even really sure why. I just felt defeated. I'm sure the fact that there's some sort of growth on my chin that is making my whole face hurt doesn't help. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm beginning to think that something bit me.I've also had a headache most of the day, and I think part of me is anxious about Aaron's surgery Friday to remove his gall bladder. I could name so many other things that are making me worry, but it's really just life in general. 

After I got past my moping, I found myself anticipating worship at church so much! There is just something about the presence of God that makes the weight of the day melt away and replace it with the most precious peace. It's not what any of us deserve, but because we serve a God that is so full of grace, he freely gives it. I found myself tearing up in the car as we made our way to practice. 

The verse from "Desert Song" at the beginning of this blog post really got me thinking. "When triumph is still on its way..." I think so often we live like we are defeated. We forget that triumph will come. It won't necessarily come the way we think it should, but God will ultimately bring you through what ever valley you are in... VICTORIOUS!! We have to remember what Romans 8:37 says: "In all things, we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." 

The part of the song that broke me tonight was, "All of my life, in every season, You are still God I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship." No matter what we are going through, God is still God. He is bigger than your greatest failure, hurt, or disease. I think the best quote I've heard is "Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big God is." Such powerful and true words. Because I have kids my mind immediately goes to Veggie Tales: "God is bigger than the Boogie Man. He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on tv. God is bigger than the Boogie Man and he's watching over you and me."  I am so grateful that God is always watching out for us. He never leaves, never forsakes us. Praise God for his hand of provision and protection, for His mercy and grace, and his unfailing love. If God is for us, it really doesn't matter who stands against. He's got it. We just have to give it over to Him and trust and have faith that He is able to take care of it. I know that's WAY easier said than done. Our lives would be so much easier though if we lived like this..unwavering faith in God.

In closing I'll leave you with and amazing song..."Our God" 

Tuesday Tunes-Desert Song-Hillsong

I discovered this song rummaging through all the music I received for leading worship at my church. I was told by several people that it was a great song, and it truly is. I'm hoping to lead this one this Sunday night! It's an amazing worship song! Enjoy!