Sometimes It Just Feels Like TOO Much

I'll start with the good first! Aaron is on his way to normalcy. He got his drain taken out today, and while it wasn't a pleasant experience, he now has the freedom to do the simple everyday tasks that were limited with it in. He got nauseous immediately after they took it out, but is now on his way to San Antonio for his last week of this assignment. Praise God he's recovering well.
Many of you know that last night was Aaron's first full length sermon at our church. He made me so proud, and the word he brought was awesome. The whole service was actually great. God must have known that I needed this with the events that took place after the service.
Our pastor had asked us to dinner and as we waited my vision became spotty in one eye. I asked Aaron to drive, and by the time we got to the restaurant that was better. By the time we sat down, I started feeling incredibly off. When I was trying to talk, I couldn't actually verbalize my full thought. It was fragmented and very frustrating for me. It was so loud at IHOP, no one else seemed to notice. I got up to go to the restroom a couple of times and when I came and sat back down, my right hand became numb. It moved up my arm until eventually the right side of my face was numb too. After a while it passed and then the headache set in. It was so bazaar how it just came on so quickly, lingered for a while, and then settled into a headache.
Last night I cried a lot, because for those of you who don't know, I have a shunt. I had two surgeries on my head about 12 years ago, and haven't had a problem since. Praise God. The numbness definitely brought back memories of that scary time. Needless to say, even though God healed me before I had to have the 3rd surgery that was scheduled, I'm finding it so hard not to be scared.
At my doctor's appointment today all they could say is that my pupils were sluggish, I'm assuming in responding to the light. She scheduled a CT scan and referred me to a neurologist. So now we're in the waiting game. She did let me know that if the numbness happens again an ER visit is in order.
So if I could ask anything of you, I would ask this that you pray for peace and strength for me. I feel like such an idiot for being scared knowing that I have experienced God's miraculous healing, but yet, I can't help myself. I haven't forgotten what He's done, so I really don't know what my problem is. ;0) More than that though, pray that these headaches cease and that the scans come back clear. Pray that I can once again praise God for a clear report!!
The words to Kari Jobe's song "What Love is This" really spoke to me today...especially this verse. "You never change. You are the God You say You are. When I'm afraid you calm and still my beating heart. You stay the same when hope is just a distant thought. You take my pain and You lead me to the Cross."
This verse always gives me such peace too. "I will both lay me down in peace and sleep:for you, Lord, only make me dwell in safety."
Thank you, Lord for the safety in Your arms! I pray when I'm afraid, I allow you to hold me close and let Your peace wash over me!