Thanksgiving..Thankful for Things I Didn't Even Realize

So today has been a wonderful day as are most Thanksgivings. I have found myself reflecting on the past few months, and it's crazy what God will show you if you are still enough to listen.
While it might sound insane I can say, (probably for the first time ever,) that I am grateful for the 2 brain surgeries I had when I was a sophomore in high school. I am also so thankful that God healed me right before I was supposed to have the 3rd one, and that I've remained healthy ever since. Why am I grateful for a very scary and painful time in my life? I think the main reason is because it helped me when my mom was diagnosed with her brain tumor. Did I fall apart? Of course I did, but once I got past that point, I remembered what God brought me through. The one thing that kept me going while she was in surgery was, "If He brought me out of 2 brain surgeries, surely He can bring her through 1."  After her hair started falling out from radiation, I could totally empathize. Yes, my hair was shaved due to my surgeries, but I still understood how devastating it is as a woman to lose your hair. I am so grateful for this time in my life, because when people are going through things I TRULY believe God CAN perform a miracle. They're not just words for me, because I am a walking miracle. When  I pray for healing, I believe with every part of me.  I'm actually fighting tears right now. I've never been bitter about that period in my life, but I've always wondered why 2 surgeries, why didn't God heal me before? It's like now it all makes sense to me. Gods ways are not our ways, and we may never understand, but it's amazing when we do. :)
In closing I'll leave you with a few of our Christmas pics! Most of you have seen them on Facebook, but I know I do have a few readers who aren't on Facebook! :0)

God=Bigger Nothing=Insignifcant

It's been a while and it seems that God continues to remind me of the same things. In the midst of life struggles, my own and my friends, He is greater and bigger, and also that nothing you or me are going through is insignificant, no matter how small.
They are basic principles, but when the floods of life are over your head, it's so very hard to remember. Perhaps that is why God keeps whispering these things to my heart.
For me personally I have just been so overwhelmed with everything lately. Migraines are still an issue which is super annoying, no FRUSTRATING. Then there's work. I don't personally have a problem, because somehow I manage to fly under the radar, but I see how other people are treated and it irks me. People are treated so unfairly and it drives me insane. My dear friend and coworker who I could confide in was blessed with the opportunity to stay home with her children, so now I'm just alone. I do have other friends within the company, but it's nice to vent to someone who actually does the exact same job you do and completely gets it, you know? I'm just so ready for God to open a BIG door that says QUIT and go HERE! LOL...too bad life doesn't work that way! ;0)
It's crazy because in the midst of all this mess the song "Still" by Hillsong came on Pandora and I hadn't heard it in so long, I had completely forgot about it.  "When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father You are King over the flood. I will be still, know You are God." Definitely words I needed to hear and continue to remind myself of. It's like okay, God, you have me here for a reason. I will suck it up, be still, and trust You. One of the scriptures in my devotion this week was this, so very perfect for me. Psalms 27:14 "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say on the Lord!"
In closing, I'll say this, I know my work problem and even my migraines are nothing compared to what some of you are going through. That's the awesome thing though, God is big enough to carry all our needs and burdens. So if you have a need, no matter how big or small, lay it at His feet. Don't carry it alone.
Psalms 138:7 "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;You will stretch Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me."

Our God is Greater

I posted a status on Facebook the other day, and I would really like to expound on what God has been reminding me of this week.
All of us can admit that life is rough. For so many people I know this is one of the roughest seasons of their lives. Trial after trial, storm after storm, and it just seems like the waves keep crashing with no sign of relief. This song, "Our God is Greater," has been on my heart all week. God is greater than fear, depression, sickness, disease, financial issues, sadness...ANYTHING that you are going through. No matter how big you think your problem is, our God is bigger! The lyrics say:

"Into the darkness You shine. Out of the ashes we rise. There's no One like You, none like You. Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. God You are Higher than any other. Our God is Healer, awesome is power, Our God , Our God. And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what could stand against."

That's the thing, WE are not strong enough on our own, but with God, we are more than conquerors. I know  it's so easy to get discouraged. I've been there more times than I can count. One verse that always encourages me is John 16:33: "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." So often we try to carry the weight of our trial on our own, but what we really need to do is cast it at the feet of our Heavenly Father and let Him make our burden light. 

I know it sounds so simple, and it is easier said than done, but in the midst of your trial always remember that  Our God Is GREATER, HE's BIGGER and He WILL carry you through!

Pray Like You've Never Prayed Before

We've definitely established that I'm an extremely emotional person. I wear my feelings on my heart/sleeve/face..it's all out there! There's no guessing with me, well except whether or not I'm sad, happy or mad crying! ;0)
Lately it just seems like people close to me are just being bombarded with huge, heart wrenching life events. With me..I always think, what can I do to make this better? How can I lighten this burden? The truth is in most cases, I can't, and I'm not going to lie...this drives me insane. Of course as a friend I can offer a shoulder, an ear, a punching bag, etc. It never is enough though.
The most powerful tool we have in our possession is prayer. Oddly enough, I often find myself saying all I can do is pray. Sometimes ALL we NEED to do is pray and let God take care of the rest. I can't tell you how many times I personally have seen situations turned around because of prayer.Prayer changes things. It makes the hopeless hopeful, the lonely feel loved, those who are mourning feel joy, and those who are in the midst of the biggest storm suddenly feel peace.
Miracles do happen. I hate that because of what TV has made it, some people can't believe that God can still heal the sick. I am someone who was once sick and is now whole. I won't tell the long version of the story, but I had two surgeries on my head due to fluid on the brain: the 1st was to just drill a hole in my skull and let the fluid drain out, and the 2nd was to put a shunt in. Those two surgeries did NOT work. When I went in for a check up a 3rd surgery was scheduled. I had one more scan and the surgery was the following day. At that point I told my dad I'd rather die than have surgery again. Obviously I was in high school and dramatic from having half my head shaved and two painful surgeries already. That night we had my friends come over to pray for me. The next day when I went to the doctor he was surprised I was even walking and the 3rd surgery was cancelled. MIRACLES happen!! =0) I've been fine ever since.
I say all of that to say this, my friends, your friends, our families, they're struggling. They so desperately need someone who loves them enough to pray for them. Don't just say you'll pray, and not do it, PRAY! We all need strength, encouragement, hope, peace, HEALING...some of us need to feel God's loving arms wrapped around us. It sounds silly but prayers are like hugs. They wrap around you at the most desperate times and cover you in peace when you should be falling apart. God is amazing like that!

 Pray without ceasing.1 Thessalonians 5:17

Evening and morning and at noon, I will pray and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice. Psalms 55:17

Love, Love, Love

So, my last post was about me crying a lot. ;0) This one is going to be a bit different. I've really felt overwhelmed with God's love lately, and while it's awesome, it's got me thinking. Here goes...
With the election times bringing out the worst in people, arguing about this and that, who's better than who, I just can't help thinking we're missing the BIGGER picture. What our country really needs is to realize that we need God more than anything. We need to fall back in love with Him. We as Christians need to love. We need to love as HE loved or I should say as He LOVES. I know it sounds cheesy and simplistic, but can you imagine a world where Christians ACTUALLY acted like Christ? An America where the church was operating as an extension of His loving arms?
We have the Hope that so many people are longing for, the Love they all need. I think what so many fail to understand is that you don't have to agree with someone to love them. The bickering I see between Christians on Facebook so often is so heartbreaking to me. What is that saying to those who are lost? Not to mention, whatever issue you are arguing about, is it as important as a soul lost and going to Hell or someone who is barely making it through each day, because they've lost all hope. We are the only Jesus some people will ever see, and it's so important that we're conveying His true character. Yes, He hates sin, He despises it! We know this, but it's still so important that we "Love them like Jesus." We need to show people compassion, His compassion.
I guess I've just realized lately that we get worked up over such trivial things. Our soul purpose is to point people to the cross. God in His love and mercy will do the rest. I know none of us are perfect, and I for one am far from it. We have to strive daily to let Jesus shine through us, so that others will come to know the Hope that we've found in Him.

An Aching Heart and Lots of Tears

 I have so much to share, but finding the quiet time to sit and gather my thoughts always seems to be the problem. It's a bit discouraging knowing that there really aren't too many people that read what I write on here, but then again, I'm thrilled that ANYONE at all wants to hear what I have to say. ;0)
God has been working on me big time. I can't even say it's been since my mom was given the news of her brain tumor. She's doing AMAZING by the way!! Praise God!! It's really been going on for a while now. I'd venture to say once I started leading worship is when I really started noticing Him molding me. I've been praying for a long time for God to use me, and it's really strange how He has been.
For those of you who that have had the privilege of knowing me for a while..(totally kidding) know that I've always been a pretty sensitive person, a crier. Lately I pretty much cry on a daily basis. Sometimes it hits me at work, in the car, while I'm in bed trying to go to sleep, or it could be a song I hear on the radio.
Yesterday as I was driving the song came on that says, "All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong." I just started crying.... God has literally been breaking my heart for everyone, at least it feels that way. My heart hurts for our country, my heart hurts for my friends, my heart hurts for Christians who lack compassion, my heart hurts for people I know who are going to Hell,my heart hurts for those suffering loss, my heart hurts for those fighting cancer, my heart hurts for the families of those fighting cancer, my heart hurts that no one cares about the millions of babies murdered through abortion...MY HEART ACHES and I cry. I can't stop it, and it often overwhelms me at awkward times.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to stop. We should all feel and hurt for each other. Isn't that what it's all about...Christ's LOVE. If we don't care, then WE should really take a long hard look in the mirror. I'm not telling you to walk around crying all the time like me, but take the time to feel. Often times, our first instinct is to judge instead of love and pray. We could never understand or comprehend what everyone's going through, but God sure does.
We as Christians are to be the light of the world. The best way to shine through the darkness and ugliness of this world is to show Christ's love. There's so much more God has been revealing to me, but I'll save that when I have another quiet moment. Love you all so much!

I Think It's Official..Migraine Meds are Making Me CRAZY

So, while I have so much to say that is so amazing and that God has been revealing to me...I'm not quite ready to put it all into words yet. So for now I will give you an update on me and the wonderful world of Christi on migraine meds.
At my last appointment my doctor decided that I needed to be on the meds for another 6 months. I understood, and up to that point, the only side effect was the 'meaner' Christi. Lately I'm noticing some other changes. I think I am beginning to slow down mentally. It's nothing crazy, but sometimes it's hard for me to think of what I'm trying to say, and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm also finding myself saying some really silly stuff. Example: I've been using my phone to charge my guitar. What I meant to say is I've been using my phone to TUNE my guitar. I've been saying fun stuff like that more frequently, and while I'll admit we all do this sometimes. I promise I have never done this as often as I do now.
I am still pretty blunt, but it's still to the point where it's funny and not rude. My friends find most of what comes out of my mouth quite amusing.
Today, I think was the icing on the cake. My boss gave me something back at the end of the day yesterday. I was asking her about it today saying I still didn't have it. She kept saying I know I gave it to you, and I kept saying I really don't remember you giving it to me. This back and forth happened for a while, very respectfully I might add. Then something clicked. I went to the drawer where I lock my things up at the end of the day and there it was. Honestly, as silly as it sounds. It makes me kind of sad. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind.
I guess it's time I call the neurologist and just see if he can lower my dose or see if my brain is going to be permanently slowed down by these meds even once I come off of them. It's so frustrating. I try to laugh about it most of the time, but it's starting to get to me!
The thought of being on these for another 4 months does not sound appealing at all, especially if it effects me even more.
Prayers are greatly appreciated!!