God's Capable Hands

I'm not even sure how to start this one because there is so much running through my mind today. I'll try to sort it all out in some sort of way.

Yesterday was a hard day for many reasons..honestly most of them had nothing to do with me and my daily anxieties. Of course work is still a struggle and we're still anxiously awaiting an official start date for Aaron to go back to work, but through it all God is sustaining me...giving me the strength to hold it together and take it day by day.

Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the trials some of my dear friends are facing. My last hour of work and on the way home I just couldn't help the tears from coming. I so desperately pray for miracles in each of their individual situations, and I so desperately want to take their pain away. And yes, I know that it is not in my power to solve their situations, but I'm so grateful I know the One who can. 

Yesterday on the drive home several songs, (you guessed it,) made me cry even harder, because the words are so true. One was by Kari Jobe. "Come to Me you broken one and I will give you peace. I will calm your waters, and I will whisper Peace be still. Take me upon you and I will give you peace. Come to me you burdened one, and I will give you joy. You will rise like eagles, and My joy will be your strength. Take me upon you, and I will give you joy." Sometimes I wish it wasn't weird to send mixed 'tapes' to everyone. Because so often I hear songs, and I so desperately want someone to hear it. Then again, maybe music doesn't move everyone the same as it does me. It's so soothing and healing to me. 

The other song was by Natalie Grant and yep I was crying some more. ;0) "I am strong all because of You. I stand in awe of every mountain that You move.I am changed. Yesterday is gone. I am safe from this moment on. And there's no fear when the night comes 'round...I'm in better hands now." See the situations my sweet friends are facing are so hard, and it hurts me to know that they're struggling with such a heavy burden. That's why I just get overwhelmed with tears at the part of "being in awe of every mountain that He's moved." I have seen His mighty miracles, and I have seen hopeless turned into hope in mere minutes. 

As I was going to bed last night about to read my devotion, this verse was the verse of the day, and WOW...I absolutely love it!!! The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

So glad that we have a God who saves. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about my friends, because God is holding them in His very capable hands, singing over them. :0)

Though My World May Fall..I'll Never Let You Go

I shared on Facebook this week that I received bad news. From my last post, you know that I haven't exactly been having the best few months. Don't run away!! I promise this post will be encouraging!! =0)
As I've said before sometimes it's so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, because I know personally some people who are going through FAR greater trials than me, but you know what? God cares about what I'm going through and what I'm losing sleep over just as much. That's what makes Him so amazing.
So I won't go into too much detail, but I found out that my grandma's health is deteriorating and hospice will most likely be coming out. My grandma is wonderful and I know that if God's not through with her a miracle will happen, but thinking of the pain that she could possibly be in absolutely breaks my heart. On the same day, I found out that Aaron's start date for his contract was pushed out another 2 weeks. God is providing all our needs, but wow, it's going on 4 months in April that he hasn't been working!! To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement along with the everyday stresses of work.
The same day, as some you already know, I had held in my tears at work and planned on having a good cry when I made it to my car. As I turned on the car, the words that were blaring were, "Great is Your Faithfulness, Oh God...You lead us by still waters and to mercy and nothing can keep us apart..." Don't you just love how God reminds us that everything is going to be okay. =0) Yes my grandma is very ill and yes we will probably go another month without Aaron getting a paycheck, but God is on our side and it will be all right.
Want to hear something amazing...God actually provided Aaron an opportunity to make some cash on Saturday. AMAZING!! I'm crying as I'm typing this!! God is good, folks, REALLY, REALLY good!!!
As I was leading worship on Wednesday night we did the song "Jesus Lover of My Soul." The lyrics, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go." have never rang so true. That's the amazing thing about God. He is our rock. When our world seems to be crumbling around us, we can cling to Him. He alone can carry us through. We just have to lean on Him, trust Him, and lay our heaviness at His feet.

Work+Stress=Migraine

I try my best not to complain, because I do know that I have it so great! The past few months have been  hard, and if I could change one thing in my life...I would be SO MUCH HAPPIER!!! HaHa! Don't we all say that?
You see, to be honest, ever since my company did what they did to our family, I have been miserable at work. Aaron has been out of work for almost 3 months now, and while God has taken care of us, it doesn't make it easy for ME to go to that place everyday. Today was probably the worst day of all..I literally sat at my desk and fought tears all day. I literally hate being there that much. Last night I had another migraine episode: face numb, eyes doing something weird, head pounding...I know it's all stress related, but I can't seem to turn off the stress. I just keep praying that God will help me get through this. Most days, I can praise him any way, but other days, I find myself relating so much with the David in Psalms 69: Save Me, Oh God for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying;
I know God is with me, walking right beside. It's just so very hard sometimes, and today is that day for me. The beautiful thing about it is like the song we sang at church Sunday says "I called. You answered, and You came to my rescue.." He's gently guiding me through this VERY stressful work situation and giving me the strength to work hard even though I'd rather not.
Yes, like any normal person, I want this situation to just resolve itself. I would love to go to work one day, and just magically forget that they're the reason that my husband has been unemployed for 3 months. I'd also like to forget that they don't seem to care how that effected me and still effects me.
For now, I will continue to trust God. He's been so faithful through all of this. As Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  I DO love God!! =0)
I am so very grateful that I'm employed. I just have to remind myself of this a lot lately. ;0)
I've said it before, but I am just so grateful that God laid it on my heart to read the Psalms along with my daily devotion. It has made a world of difference. Saturating my heart and soul with the word is why when you see me, I don't seem all doom and gloom. I'm just human and have hard days. I know where my Hope comes from, and I know that with Him by my side, I will endure each day at the dreaded work place. ;0)