Sometimes the Storms Come....

So the past two days I have cried so much that I could no longer see out of my contacts. That was the past two days, but really the past several weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Lots of crying, some for myself and some for friends struggling.

I hate seeing my friends hurting. It makes me hurt especially when I know there's nothing I can do to take it away. I just want so badly for everyone around me to feel joy and to not struggle so much, and lately it seems like everyone around me is dealing with a major trial. It truly grieves my heart. 

The one thing this has taught me is some things just aren't worth worrying about. Someone really hurt me by talking about me and my family, not just to one but several people. What they were saying was untrue, and very hurtful especially when they have no idea what I struggle with each and every day. The fact of the matter is being bitter isn't hurting anyone but me. I have let it go and it's in God's hands now. Those who love me know what to believe and if they have questions they will come to me. Either way, I'm not letting it steal another second of my joy.

So after coming to this conclusion on one issue we were blindsided yesterday with some news about my mom. She had a CT scan due to some headaches and received the dreaded call back, "We found something." Yesterday evening was pretty much a nightmare. Every scenario possible running through my head..they found a mass. All I knew is there was NO WAY I was losing my mom. I lead worship at church with my dad even though both of us had a million other places we would rather be...in a hole curled up crying sounded more appealing than worshiping God. As we sang though, God wrapped his loving arms around me. "You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek..You are my all in ALL..When I fall down you pick me up. When I am dry You fill my cup." I will never understand why people don't live a life worshiping and praising God. He truly will meet you in the most desperate situation.

So today was the appointment and my mom has a brain tumor. It is not cancer!!! PRAISE GOD!!! She will be having surgery next Wednesday to have it removed, and because of the location they will not be able to remove the whole thing. She will have radiation to make sure whats left does not grow. The good news is that the neurosurgeon has seen several of her exact cases this month, and so he's familiar with this procedure. Her prognosis is good. Please pray for our family. While I know the news we got is far better than what we imagined, it is still scary, and the road to recovery for my mom is still long. I know she is in God's hands and she will be okay. 

In closing, all I can say is I have the most amazing friends ever!! I can honestly say I do not know what I would ever do without each and every one of you praying for and encouraging me. No wonder each of your struggles effects me so deeply. I love you all and look forward to telling you all how well my mom is doing next week after her surgery!!!