Neurologist Appointment Tomorrow

So tomorrow I go back to the neurologist for my follow up appointment on my migraines. There's a good chance since my migraines are few and far between and since they have never again been as bad as the night I went to the ER, he will begin weaning me off the medication.
I've described the positives that have come from being on this medicine, but there have also been some very evident negative effects too. I am easily annoyed, not quite as patient, very snippy, quite moody...None of these are me. It's actually been quite depressing feeling like another person has taken over my body, someone I can't control. To tell you how serious the change is, Aaron actually asked if I would ask the doctor to prescribe me another prescription. He obviously gets the brunt of my moodiness and snippiness...well, because he's annoying!! ;0) Just kidding...maybe!! =0)
Needless to say I am so grateful for the things I've been able to get off of my chest after so many years. The fact that my medication makes it almost impossible to keep my mouth shut especially when I'm being mistreated can be thanked for that. I guess I'm just hoping to find a balance between "door mat" and "mean." I do believe mean is a little extreme, because I'm really not mean, but mean for me if that makes any sense at all. I just want to be me again. Me without medication, me without migraines.
Lastly, I want to be me without the fear of having a migraine so severe again. I know that fear is not something that God gives us, and that I am not to live in fear, but that is SO hard for me. I have never been as scared as I was the night we called 9-1-1 and the night when half of my body went numb and my vision got spotty. Yes, if it happens again I'll know what's going on, but the thing is I don't ever want to feel that way again!!
So please pray that God will give me peace if the doc feels it's okay to take me off my medication. He said some patients are perfectly fine and others have their migraines come back immediately. God has been so faithful to me, and I feel so silly being scared, but I am! Thanks friends for loving me and praying for me!!