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Tuesday, December 31, 2013
So Long 2013
Another year has come and gone. It seems time just goes by faster and faster. Instead of dwelling on some of the not so happy moments, I'd rather take a look back at the happiest ones. The year started off with an opportunity to spend the day in a recording studio with two of the most talented people I know...Barry and Michelle Patterson. My cousin Sommer was there of course. This day made the fact that Aaron was still unemployed not sting so much.
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I could literally go on and on about the highlights of 2013. One of my absolute favorite weeks was the one I spent with Sean, Kate, Cannon and Charlie! I love my sweet friends and hope that 2014 brings me back to Wisconsin for another visit.
I played guitar, sang, learned new songs, tried new recipes, spent time with friends, listened to live music, and started running.
I'm very much looking forward to 2014. I'm looking forward to questions being answered, new opportunities, and all the new adventures awaiting me, my family and friends in 2014. I never make resolutions, but there are a few things I always strive for. I want to continue to improve on the guitar/keyboard, I want to learn new songs, and delve in deeper to the Bible. Can't wait to start the new bible study with my sweet friends!! :-) Well friends, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I'll try to do this blog thing a little more regularly this new year.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Lately
It's been a while, so I figured it was time to write. This one may only be interesting to those who actually know and care about me. ;-)
There are big things coming for the Blain household. We've officially decided to put our house on the market at the first of the year. We've already starting getting it market ready, and we really hope to have it on the market in January. At this point we're not sure what the next step is. There are many places I'd love to live...Colorado, WISCONSIN...Keller, TX...LOL.
For now we will become debt free, and then through lots of prayer determine where the best place for our family will be. Aaron is seriously considering New Zealand. To me, this is INSANE!! I understand where he's coming from, but there's a part of me that knows I could never be happy that far away from my friends and family. Then again...never say never. :-) Prayers greatly appreciated.
On another note, I've started to enjoy running. I'm still a little discouraged about the way I look...or how I think I look. Can't decide if it's 'bulimic' brain or not. Either way, I'm proud of myself for taking on something I have always hated. So far my max distance without stopping is 3.31 miles. Now THAT's impressive!! ;-)
On another note, I just finished Matt Redman's The Unquenchable Worshipper. It was well worth the time. It opened my eyes a lot, and I truly think I will be a better worship leader because of it. "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about YOU Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about you Jesus."
That pretty much sums up lately. Perhaps I'll have more time to blog when I'm off the whole week of Thanksgiving!!! Work has been exhausting, so I can't wait!!!
There are big things coming for the Blain household. We've officially decided to put our house on the market at the first of the year. We've already starting getting it market ready, and we really hope to have it on the market in January. At this point we're not sure what the next step is. There are many places I'd love to live...Colorado, WISCONSIN...Keller, TX...LOL.
For now we will become debt free, and then through lots of prayer determine where the best place for our family will be. Aaron is seriously considering New Zealand. To me, this is INSANE!! I understand where he's coming from, but there's a part of me that knows I could never be happy that far away from my friends and family. Then again...never say never. :-) Prayers greatly appreciated.
On another note, I've started to enjoy running. I'm still a little discouraged about the way I look...or how I think I look. Can't decide if it's 'bulimic' brain or not. Either way, I'm proud of myself for taking on something I have always hated. So far my max distance without stopping is 3.31 miles. Now THAT's impressive!! ;-)
On another note, I just finished Matt Redman's The Unquenchable Worshipper. It was well worth the time. It opened my eyes a lot, and I truly think I will be a better worship leader because of it. "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about YOU Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about you Jesus."
That pretty much sums up lately. Perhaps I'll have more time to blog when I'm off the whole week of Thanksgiving!!! Work has been exhausting, so I can't wait!!!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
The Neverending Weight Battle
I know the title made several people roll their eyes..especially coming from me. If you understand and know my past though, you'll definitely understand the title.
I've posted on here about my battle with bulimia. I was bulimic for years, but can say with complete honesty that I haven't ventured down that slippery slop in at least 10 years. While that is a huge accomplishment, sadly those thoughts never go away..at least not up to this point.
Probably within the past few months I've put on about 5 lbs. Yes I understand that's not a lot, but it's SUPER depressing when your jeans are snug and your shirts don't fit quite they way they used to. I am proud to say that I am heading down the right path to shed these extra LBs...diet and exercise. I've actually started doing the one thing I've hated my whole life...RUNNING!! That got a huge HOORAY from a few of my crazy runner friends. ;-)
The thing is when you've had a bulimic past, it's so very hard to ever view yourself as 'skinny.' Even when I was 5lbs lighter, most days I still didn't see the skinny person every one else saw and still sees. It's a sad truth, but it is what it is.
I don't want this blog post to be a huge downer, so here's what I do when I struggle. I remember the verse that got me through those dark days so long ago, "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139:14 You see, God loves me with or without the extra LBs. He doesn't measure his love by how much the scale says or how tight my pants are. He made me just the way I am.
This takes me back to something I heard at Women of Faith, "God can use your past to give someone a future." Yes it absolutely stinks that I was ever bulimic, but I am an overcomer. I'm proof that there's hope for anyone who struggles with these thoughts or actions.
I have to remember that no matter how skinny I am, I am beautiful. We're all beautiful..created in the image of our Maker.
I've posted on here about my battle with bulimia. I was bulimic for years, but can say with complete honesty that I haven't ventured down that slippery slop in at least 10 years. While that is a huge accomplishment, sadly those thoughts never go away..at least not up to this point.
Probably within the past few months I've put on about 5 lbs. Yes I understand that's not a lot, but it's SUPER depressing when your jeans are snug and your shirts don't fit quite they way they used to. I am proud to say that I am heading down the right path to shed these extra LBs...diet and exercise. I've actually started doing the one thing I've hated my whole life...RUNNING!! That got a huge HOORAY from a few of my crazy runner friends. ;-)
The thing is when you've had a bulimic past, it's so very hard to ever view yourself as 'skinny.' Even when I was 5lbs lighter, most days I still didn't see the skinny person every one else saw and still sees. It's a sad truth, but it is what it is.
I don't want this blog post to be a huge downer, so here's what I do when I struggle. I remember the verse that got me through those dark days so long ago, "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalms 139:14 You see, God loves me with or without the extra LBs. He doesn't measure his love by how much the scale says or how tight my pants are. He made me just the way I am.
This takes me back to something I heard at Women of Faith, "God can use your past to give someone a future." Yes it absolutely stinks that I was ever bulimic, but I am an overcomer. I'm proof that there's hope for anyone who struggles with these thoughts or actions.
I have to remember that no matter how skinny I am, I am beautiful. We're all beautiful..created in the image of our Maker.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Vacation, Women of Faith, and Revival
It's been forever since I've actually had time to gather my thoughts. Life has been so busy...moving faster than I'd like.
First of all, I just wanted to share a little bit about my vacation to Minnesota and Wisconsin at the end of August. First of all, it's so crazy to think that so much time has passed. I had an amazing time with my dearest friend. Our friendship is certainly an example of those that even though there's a lot of distance, and we don't talk everyday, when we get together, it's like we were never apart. :-) I am so blessed to have her and her precious family in my life, and it was so very hard to leave them and come home. They are not just friends but an extension of my family. I'm dreaming of a move, but we'll see where God leads us. :-) Here's my favorite pic from my visit!
When I returned home it was full speed ahead. I had Women of Faith, and WOW was it wonderful and much needed. I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was there. The theme was a lot about being more than you know, and that God is more than we know. Here are a few of the notes I took, quotes that spoke to me "He is God. Miracles are what He does. Impossible is where He starts." "Don't just memorize, internalize the word." "He can use our past to give someone else a future." " God is not growing in His level of patience. It is perfect and complete." The worship was phenomenal. I've said this on Facebook, but hearing 10,000+ voices singing and worshiping is one of the most beautiful sounds. One other word I really loved is that "true worship is unrehearsed." Basically I could go on and on, but it was an amazing time with God and a dear friend! :-)
Lastly I wanted to talk about the revival at my church. It was phenomenal. Not because we had a special minister who's on TV, but because God moved. Again, my favorite part was leading worship. What an amazing thing to hear voices singing loud enough for me to hear them. That's what worship is all about. I was beyond blessed because you could tell everyone came expecting to meet with God. After all, if you don't come excepting you're going to leave disappointed. God never disappoints though, so you can always count on Him to show up and meet you right where you are.
Until next time! :-)
First of all, I just wanted to share a little bit about my vacation to Minnesota and Wisconsin at the end of August. First of all, it's so crazy to think that so much time has passed. I had an amazing time with my dearest friend. Our friendship is certainly an example of those that even though there's a lot of distance, and we don't talk everyday, when we get together, it's like we were never apart. :-) I am so blessed to have her and her precious family in my life, and it was so very hard to leave them and come home. They are not just friends but an extension of my family. I'm dreaming of a move, but we'll see where God leads us. :-) Here's my favorite pic from my visit!
Until next time! :-)
Monday, August 12, 2013
A Legacy of Light
I actually have a lot to say. It seems like it's been forever since I've had a quiet moment to myself to write. So much has been going on that I don't even know where to begin.
I guess I'll start with a status I posted a while back on Facebook:This past week has started making me think about what my legacy. What do people say about me? Have I helped everyone I could? Does Christ's love shine through me? If not, that needs to change. We are the light afterall to this dark world. I hope I am doing my part to bring hope and love. It's kind of silly what prompted my thought that day, but here goes. A well known DJ, named Kidd Kraddick passed away almost 3 weeks ago. It was amazing to me how people all around the world were calling in and talking about all this stuff he did for others behind the scenes, and then of course the work he did through his charity Kidd's Kids. That had me thinking, what is my legacy? Am I truly doing everything within my power to help others? Am I a true friend? Do people see Christ's love in me? Do I bring light to this dark and dying world? My husband responded and said that our legacy will be through our boys. Of course that's true, but why should it be limited to that? I work and interact with so many people throughout the day. It's sounds so cliche, but do they see Jesus in me?
I truly want people to walk away from me knowing that I'm different. I want to live in such a way that everyone wonders what's the joy that radiates off of her?
Nothing brings me more joy than leading worship at church. It has nothing to do with the fact that there's a microphone in my hand. It's the fact that God's presence transforms. His presence renews my strength, gives me peace, fills me with joy. Honestly if I could walk around singing out loud all day, I would be a lot happier. Unfortunately that's frowned upon at work. ;-) So I just have to settle with a song in my heart. (SUPER CHEESEY, I know.)
I guess I'll start with a status I posted a while back on Facebook:This past week has started making me think about what my legacy. What do people say about me? Have I helped everyone I could? Does Christ's love shine through me? If not, that needs to change. We are the light afterall to this dark world. I hope I am doing my part to bring hope and love. It's kind of silly what prompted my thought that day, but here goes. A well known DJ, named Kidd Kraddick passed away almost 3 weeks ago. It was amazing to me how people all around the world were calling in and talking about all this stuff he did for others behind the scenes, and then of course the work he did through his charity Kidd's Kids. That had me thinking, what is my legacy? Am I truly doing everything within my power to help others? Am I a true friend? Do people see Christ's love in me? Do I bring light to this dark and dying world? My husband responded and said that our legacy will be through our boys. Of course that's true, but why should it be limited to that? I work and interact with so many people throughout the day. It's sounds so cliche, but do they see Jesus in me?
I truly want people to walk away from me knowing that I'm different. I want to live in such a way that everyone wonders what's the joy that radiates off of her?
Nothing brings me more joy than leading worship at church. It has nothing to do with the fact that there's a microphone in my hand. It's the fact that God's presence transforms. His presence renews my strength, gives me peace, fills me with joy. Honestly if I could walk around singing out loud all day, I would be a lot happier. Unfortunately that's frowned upon at work. ;-) So I just have to settle with a song in my heart. (SUPER CHEESEY, I know.)
I guess the main point of what's been on my mind is we've found the truth. Jesus has filled us with His peace and He's given us Hope and Love. Why would we not want to share that with our friends, coworkers...even the people we're not all that fond of? Honestly those are the people that need Jesus the most. Well I have a lot more to say, but I will save that for another day! :-)
Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Tragedy Around the Corner
This week has been so emotional. It's always so terrible to hear of tragedies, but it's a completely different reality when it's around the corner from your house. I'm not going to get into any details, because they don't matter, and I'd rather not repeat them. I wish I didn't know, honestly.
The fact of the matter is, I HATE that this happened. I HATE that I can't drive through my neighborhood without crying. All the purple ribbons are amazing, but it's a reminder at every corner of the tragedy that rocked our community. The curbside memorial is so very sweet, but every time I drive passed it the tears begin to stream down my cheeks.
It's the worst talking to your 13 year old and having to tell him what happened, how that monster is still on the loose. I tell him we just have to know that God is walking with us and protecting us, but at the same time there's no way to explain WHY this happened to THIS child. I told him we live in a country that is turning it's back more and more from God, and we just have to pray that people turn back to Him. We pray, that's all we can do. I also explain that unfortunately there are just some things that we'll never understand in this life.
I can't explain the dilemma that goes through my head about walking through our neighborhood. Dex and I were starting to really enjoy our walks. I know we're not supposed to live in fear, but at the same time, I don't want to put mine or my child's life in danger. It's just sucks...I know that's a terrible word, but what else can I say?
The fact of the matter is, I HATE that this happened. I HATE that I can't drive through my neighborhood without crying. All the purple ribbons are amazing, but it's a reminder at every corner of the tragedy that rocked our community. The curbside memorial is so very sweet, but every time I drive passed it the tears begin to stream down my cheeks.
It's the worst talking to your 13 year old and having to tell him what happened, how that monster is still on the loose. I tell him we just have to know that God is walking with us and protecting us, but at the same time there's no way to explain WHY this happened to THIS child. I told him we live in a country that is turning it's back more and more from God, and we just have to pray that people turn back to Him. We pray, that's all we can do. I also explain that unfortunately there are just some things that we'll never understand in this life.
I can't explain the dilemma that goes through my head about walking through our neighborhood. Dex and I were starting to really enjoy our walks. I know we're not supposed to live in fear, but at the same time, I don't want to put mine or my child's life in danger. It's just sucks...I know that's a terrible word, but what else can I say?
The night this tragedy happened, my devotion was Psalms 23. I love how God is right on time. Psalms 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For you are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
I have been playing 2 songs over and over in my car since this happened, and I realize I have posted these before. The first song is "In Better Hands" and the second, "Our Hope Endures," both by Natalie Grant. "In Better Hands" says, "There's no fear when the night comes around. I'm in better hands now. It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pourin' down. It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground. So take this heart of mine There's no doubt I'm in better hands now."
"Our Hope Endures" says, "Emanuel, God is with us. El Shaddai, all sufficient. We never walk alone and this is our hope. Our hope endures."
I'm so grateful for the hope and peace I have in Jesus. I can't lie and say I don't feel uneasy, sick, angry, and devastated, but I know He feels it too, and He will walk all of us through this if we just lean on Him.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Psalms...Just Can't Get Enough
I know I have blogged about my love for the Psalms before, but I just can't get enough.
This past week, I was having some issues sleeping. I can't really explain how I felt besides my throat was tight and it felt like there was a lump it. This caused anxiety or the anxiety caused this...who really knows? After praying for God to help me calm down so I could sleep, I began reading the Psalms. Chapter after chapter I felt the oncoming panic attack subside, and peace overwhelmed me.
After reading the following verses, it was impossible not to feel better.
Psalms 3:3-5 But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept;I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.
Psalms 4:8 I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 5:11-12 Let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
It's kind of crazy, because I had already read through the Psalms once, but I feel as if I will be reading through them again. Something about the words in these particular chapters are medicine for my soul. I'm honestly not real sure what brings on these anxiety attacks, but I'm so grateful I have the tools to stop them..prayer and Psalms. Continuing to pray that these episodes disappear completely.
This past week, I was having some issues sleeping. I can't really explain how I felt besides my throat was tight and it felt like there was a lump it. This caused anxiety or the anxiety caused this...who really knows? After praying for God to help me calm down so I could sleep, I began reading the Psalms. Chapter after chapter I felt the oncoming panic attack subside, and peace overwhelmed me.
After reading the following verses, it was impossible not to feel better.
Psalms 3:3-5 But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept;I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.
Psalms 4:8 I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalms 5:11-12 Let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
It's kind of crazy, because I had already read through the Psalms once, but I feel as if I will be reading through them again. Something about the words in these particular chapters are medicine for my soul. I'm honestly not real sure what brings on these anxiety attacks, but I'm so grateful I have the tools to stop them..prayer and Psalms. Continuing to pray that these episodes disappear completely.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
He Loves
So today was Father's Day and church is normally cancelled Sunday evening. It wasn't tonight. I was okay with it, besides the migraine that just seemed to progress as the day did. I really wanted to just stay at home in a dark room until sleep came.
I decided to go ahead and go. Thank God I did!! :-) You see for the 3 songs that we did during worship my migraine disappeared. That's not even the best part though. God just wrapped His loving presence around me. All I could do was weep singing "How He Loves." The words are so simple "He loves us. Oh how He Loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves." You see, if you really think about those words you are singing, it's impossible not to be moved.
God LOVES us SO very much. It's truly overwhelming and WONDERFUL to know that. He knows my deepest darkest secrets, and yet He loved me enough to die. That's why I sing "Jesus Lover of my soul. Jesus I will never let you go. You've taken me from the miry clay, set my feet upon the rock and now I know..I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU..Though my world may fall, I'll NEVER let You go. My Savior, my closest friend...I will worship You until the very end."
I'm so grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father. He LOVES..DEEPLY loves, TRULY loves. We're in a world full of desperate and hurting people. It's so important that THEY know the love, hope, joy and peace that's awaiting for them if they just believe. God's love is certainly not a love that we should just keep in our churches or to ourselves. We're called to be the hands and feet of God and that means reaching His broken and lost children. Through Him there is HOPE, and if you look around, hope, is exactly what this world needs.
I decided to go ahead and go. Thank God I did!! :-) You see for the 3 songs that we did during worship my migraine disappeared. That's not even the best part though. God just wrapped His loving presence around me. All I could do was weep singing "How He Loves." The words are so simple "He loves us. Oh how He Loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves." You see, if you really think about those words you are singing, it's impossible not to be moved.
God LOVES us SO very much. It's truly overwhelming and WONDERFUL to know that. He knows my deepest darkest secrets, and yet He loved me enough to die. That's why I sing "Jesus Lover of my soul. Jesus I will never let you go. You've taken me from the miry clay, set my feet upon the rock and now I know..I LOVE YOU, I NEED YOU..Though my world may fall, I'll NEVER let You go. My Savior, my closest friend...I will worship You until the very end."
I'm so grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father. He LOVES..DEEPLY loves, TRULY loves. We're in a world full of desperate and hurting people. It's so important that THEY know the love, hope, joy and peace that's awaiting for them if they just believe. God's love is certainly not a love that we should just keep in our churches or to ourselves. We're called to be the hands and feet of God and that means reaching His broken and lost children. Through Him there is HOPE, and if you look around, hope, is exactly what this world needs.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Heaven's Sounding Sweeter
"Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time. Seems like lately it's always on my mind.
Someday I'll leave this world behind. Heaven's sounding sweeter all the time."
I haven't heard this song in such a long time, but as I was driving home tonight these lyrics were playing in my head. This past week has been a rough one. Two major tragedies in our world and the sting of loss. Two of my dear friends are moving away this week along with Dex being sick. It's been so hard to not walk around crying.
It just really makes you wish that Jesus would hurry up and come. Two scriptures ring so true at this very moment. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. And also Psalms 34:18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Life can be so hard sometimes. The hope we have though is this world is as bad as it gets for us. This is NOT our home and one day we will join our Savior where there are no more tears or sorrow. I anxiously await this day and even long for it so much. I guess you could say I'm homesick. I'm sick of crying and I'm so sick of broken hearts. I am so grateful for God's peace and that He's always right here with us. I think of a song my grandpa wrote, "There is peace in the time of trouble. There is peace in the midst of the storm. There is peace though the world be raging..in the shelter of His arms." Thank God for His peaceful embrace, those loving arms that never let us go. When the world is out of control, He's holding us safely in His arms.
"When the oceans rise and thunders roar. I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are King over the flood. I will be still, know you are God."
Phillippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding , will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Recent Happenings
As I sit here completely exhausted, I thought it was time I posted since it's been a while.
First of all, I am so very grateful that Aaron is employed again. While the fact that his training has been in Buffalo, NY has been trying, I'm still so thankful. We miss him terribly, but he'll be back this weekend even if it is just Saturday. :0) We'll soak up all the time we have!
It's still so amazing to me how God has provided for us throughout this whole time. Aaron has yet to get a paycheck, but money has been coming in from here and there..cash, checks. I'm in awe of God's provision. He is so faithful.
There was a short period of time where I started questioning where God had placed me and where he was using me a couple of weeks ago. Right when I was literally about to throw in the towel, He showed me that was exactly where he wanted me. Things have been so much better since, and there is no other explanation BUT God.
Easter Sunday was amazing...as it always is. I had the privilege of taking a sweet little girl to church with me. It was so fun getting her ready, and Dex loved having his little girlfriend with us for the weekend. :0) We enjoyed the fun for the kiddos. The sweetest moment I shared with the little ones was when they were both chatting about how Jesus died on the cross and then came back to life on Easter. I love that their chatter was not about bunnies, but about the true reason we celebrate Easter, AKA Resurrection Sunday.
Worship was so very sweet and I couldn't stop the tears as we sang, "He became sin who knew no sin, that we might become His righteousness. He humbled Himself and carried the cross. Love so AMAZING. Jesus Messiah, name above all names, blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel. The rescue for sinners, the ransom from Heaven, Jesus Messiah..Lord of all." I felt so overwhelmed with His love, and if you've never felt it, you're missing out.
One really cool thing that happened as I was keeping my friends sweet little girl was she was running a fever one morning...102.4. As I was in the shower, I prayed that her fever would go down. When I checked it after I got out of the shower it had already gone down to 99.4..low grade. There is still power in prayer, folks. She was ready to play, but of course, like a good mommy/caregiver, I made her take it easy...just in case. :)
Well I'm sure I could ramble on and on, but after my steroid shot, (which I had hoped would give me energy,) I am exhausted. I believe I will be turning in early again tonight.
First of all, I am so very grateful that Aaron is employed again. While the fact that his training has been in Buffalo, NY has been trying, I'm still so thankful. We miss him terribly, but he'll be back this weekend even if it is just Saturday. :0) We'll soak up all the time we have!
It's still so amazing to me how God has provided for us throughout this whole time. Aaron has yet to get a paycheck, but money has been coming in from here and there..cash, checks. I'm in awe of God's provision. He is so faithful.
There was a short period of time where I started questioning where God had placed me and where he was using me a couple of weeks ago. Right when I was literally about to throw in the towel, He showed me that was exactly where he wanted me. Things have been so much better since, and there is no other explanation BUT God.
Easter Sunday was amazing...as it always is. I had the privilege of taking a sweet little girl to church with me. It was so fun getting her ready, and Dex loved having his little girlfriend with us for the weekend. :0) We enjoyed the fun for the kiddos. The sweetest moment I shared with the little ones was when they were both chatting about how Jesus died on the cross and then came back to life on Easter. I love that their chatter was not about bunnies, but about the true reason we celebrate Easter, AKA Resurrection Sunday.
Worship was so very sweet and I couldn't stop the tears as we sang, "He became sin who knew no sin, that we might become His righteousness. He humbled Himself and carried the cross. Love so AMAZING. Jesus Messiah, name above all names, blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel. The rescue for sinners, the ransom from Heaven, Jesus Messiah..Lord of all." I felt so overwhelmed with His love, and if you've never felt it, you're missing out.
One really cool thing that happened as I was keeping my friends sweet little girl was she was running a fever one morning...102.4. As I was in the shower, I prayed that her fever would go down. When I checked it after I got out of the shower it had already gone down to 99.4..low grade. There is still power in prayer, folks. She was ready to play, but of course, like a good mommy/caregiver, I made her take it easy...just in case. :)
Well I'm sure I could ramble on and on, but after my steroid shot, (which I had hoped would give me energy,) I am exhausted. I believe I will be turning in early again tonight.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
God's Capable Hands
I'm not even sure how to start this one because there is so much running through my mind today. I'll try to sort it all out in some sort of way.
Yesterday was a hard day for many reasons..honestly most of them had nothing to do with me and my daily anxieties. Of course work is still a struggle and we're still anxiously awaiting an official start date for Aaron to go back to work, but through it all God is sustaining me...giving me the strength to hold it together and take it day by day.
Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the trials some of my dear friends are facing. My last hour of work and on the way home I just couldn't help the tears from coming. I so desperately pray for miracles in each of their individual situations, and I so desperately want to take their pain away. And yes, I know that it is not in my power to solve their situations, but I'm so grateful I know the One who can.
Yesterday on the drive home several songs, (you guessed it,) made me cry even harder, because the words are so true. One was by Kari Jobe. "Come to Me you broken one and I will give you peace. I will calm your waters, and I will whisper Peace be still. Take me upon you and I will give you peace. Come to me you burdened one, and I will give you joy. You will rise like eagles, and My joy will be your strength. Take me upon you, and I will give you joy." Sometimes I wish it wasn't weird to send mixed 'tapes' to everyone. Because so often I hear songs, and I so desperately want someone to hear it. Then again, maybe music doesn't move everyone the same as it does me. It's so soothing and healing to me.
The other song was by Natalie Grant and yep I was crying some more. ;0) "I am strong all because of You. I stand in awe of every mountain that You move.I am changed. Yesterday is gone. I am safe from this moment on. And there's no fear when the night comes 'round...I'm in better hands now." See the situations my sweet friends are facing are so hard, and it hurts me to know that they're struggling with such a heavy burden. That's why I just get overwhelmed with tears at the part of "being in awe of every mountain that He's moved." I have seen His mighty miracles, and I have seen hopeless turned into hope in mere minutes.
As I was going to bed last night about to read my devotion, this verse was the verse of the day, and WOW...I absolutely love it!!! The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
So glad that we have a God who saves. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about my friends, because God is holding them in His very capable hands, singing over them. :0)
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Though My World May Fall..I'll Never Let You Go
I shared on Facebook this week that I received bad news. From my last post, you know that I haven't exactly been having the best few months. Don't run away!! I promise this post will be encouraging!! =0)
As I've said before sometimes it's so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, because I know personally some people who are going through FAR greater trials than me, but you know what? God cares about what I'm going through and what I'm losing sleep over just as much. That's what makes Him so amazing.
So I won't go into too much detail, but I found out that my grandma's health is deteriorating and hospice will most likely be coming out. My grandma is wonderful and I know that if God's not through with her a miracle will happen, but thinking of the pain that she could possibly be in absolutely breaks my heart. On the same day, I found out that Aaron's start date for his contract was pushed out another 2 weeks. God is providing all our needs, but wow, it's going on 4 months in April that he hasn't been working!! To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement along with the everyday stresses of work.
The same day, as some you already know, I had held in my tears at work and planned on having a good cry when I made it to my car. As I turned on the car, the words that were blaring were, "Great is Your Faithfulness, Oh God...You lead us by still waters and to mercy and nothing can keep us apart..." Don't you just love how God reminds us that everything is going to be okay. =0) Yes my grandma is very ill and yes we will probably go another month without Aaron getting a paycheck, but God is on our side and it will be all right.
Want to hear something amazing...God actually provided Aaron an opportunity to make some cash on Saturday. AMAZING!! I'm crying as I'm typing this!! God is good, folks, REALLY, REALLY good!!!
As I was leading worship on Wednesday night we did the song "Jesus Lover of My Soul." The lyrics, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go." have never rang so true. That's the amazing thing about God. He is our rock. When our world seems to be crumbling around us, we can cling to Him. He alone can carry us through. We just have to lean on Him, trust Him, and lay our heaviness at His feet.
As I've said before sometimes it's so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling, because I know personally some people who are going through FAR greater trials than me, but you know what? God cares about what I'm going through and what I'm losing sleep over just as much. That's what makes Him so amazing.
So I won't go into too much detail, but I found out that my grandma's health is deteriorating and hospice will most likely be coming out. My grandma is wonderful and I know that if God's not through with her a miracle will happen, but thinking of the pain that she could possibly be in absolutely breaks my heart. On the same day, I found out that Aaron's start date for his contract was pushed out another 2 weeks. God is providing all our needs, but wow, it's going on 4 months in April that he hasn't been working!! To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement along with the everyday stresses of work.
The same day, as some you already know, I had held in my tears at work and planned on having a good cry when I made it to my car. As I turned on the car, the words that were blaring were, "Great is Your Faithfulness, Oh God...You lead us by still waters and to mercy and nothing can keep us apart..." Don't you just love how God reminds us that everything is going to be okay. =0) Yes my grandma is very ill and yes we will probably go another month without Aaron getting a paycheck, but God is on our side and it will be all right.
Want to hear something amazing...God actually provided Aaron an opportunity to make some cash on Saturday. AMAZING!! I'm crying as I'm typing this!! God is good, folks, REALLY, REALLY good!!!
As I was leading worship on Wednesday night we did the song "Jesus Lover of My Soul." The lyrics, "I love You. I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go." have never rang so true. That's the amazing thing about God. He is our rock. When our world seems to be crumbling around us, we can cling to Him. He alone can carry us through. We just have to lean on Him, trust Him, and lay our heaviness at His feet.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Work+Stress=Migraine
I try my best not to complain, because I do know that I have it so great! The past few months have been hard, and if I could change one thing in my life...I would be SO MUCH HAPPIER!!! HaHa! Don't we all say that?
You see, to be honest, ever since my company did what they did to our family, I have been miserable at work. Aaron has been out of work for almost 3 months now, and while God has taken care of us, it doesn't make it easy for ME to go to that place everyday. Today was probably the worst day of all..I literally sat at my desk and fought tears all day. I literally hate being there that much. Last night I had another migraine episode: face numb, eyes doing something weird, head pounding...I know it's all stress related, but I can't seem to turn off the stress. I just keep praying that God will help me get through this. Most days, I can praise him any way, but other days, I find myself relating so much with the David in Psalms 69: Save Me, Oh God for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying;
I know God is with me, walking right beside. It's just so very hard sometimes, and today is that day for me. The beautiful thing about it is like the song we sang at church Sunday says "I called. You answered, and You came to my rescue.." He's gently guiding me through this VERY stressful work situation and giving me the strength to work hard even though I'd rather not.
Yes, like any normal person, I want this situation to just resolve itself. I would love to go to work one day, and just magically forget that they're the reason that my husband has been unemployed for 3 months. I'd also like to forget that they don't seem to care how that effected me and still effects me.
For now, I will continue to trust God. He's been so faithful through all of this. As Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. I DO love God!! =0)
I am so very grateful that I'm employed. I just have to remind myself of this a lot lately. ;0)
I've said it before, but I am just so grateful that God laid it on my heart to read the Psalms along with my daily devotion. It has made a world of difference. Saturating my heart and soul with the word is why when you see me, I don't seem all doom and gloom. I'm just human and have hard days. I know where my Hope comes from, and I know that with Him by my side, I will endure each day at the dreaded work place. ;0)
You see, to be honest, ever since my company did what they did to our family, I have been miserable at work. Aaron has been out of work for almost 3 months now, and while God has taken care of us, it doesn't make it easy for ME to go to that place everyday. Today was probably the worst day of all..I literally sat at my desk and fought tears all day. I literally hate being there that much. Last night I had another migraine episode: face numb, eyes doing something weird, head pounding...I know it's all stress related, but I can't seem to turn off the stress. I just keep praying that God will help me get through this. Most days, I can praise him any way, but other days, I find myself relating so much with the David in Psalms 69: Save Me, Oh God for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying;
I know God is with me, walking right beside. It's just so very hard sometimes, and today is that day for me. The beautiful thing about it is like the song we sang at church Sunday says "I called. You answered, and You came to my rescue.." He's gently guiding me through this VERY stressful work situation and giving me the strength to work hard even though I'd rather not.
Yes, like any normal person, I want this situation to just resolve itself. I would love to go to work one day, and just magically forget that they're the reason that my husband has been unemployed for 3 months. I'd also like to forget that they don't seem to care how that effected me and still effects me.
For now, I will continue to trust God. He's been so faithful through all of this. As Romans 8:28 says: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. I DO love God!! =0)
I am so very grateful that I'm employed. I just have to remind myself of this a lot lately. ;0)
I've said it before, but I am just so grateful that God laid it on my heart to read the Psalms along with my daily devotion. It has made a world of difference. Saturating my heart and soul with the word is why when you see me, I don't seem all doom and gloom. I'm just human and have hard days. I know where my Hope comes from, and I know that with Him by my side, I will endure each day at the dreaded work place. ;0)
Sunday, February 24, 2013
God is Faithful
I'm sure a lot of you looked at this title and thought..DUH!!! I know there are some of you though that are probably in the midst of something and aren't quite sure of this. Let me share what God has shown me over the past few months.
As all of you know by now, some very unfortunate events took place that left Aaron unemployed. He is still riding the unemployment train, and we were even denied unemployment due to the odd circumstances that caused him to become jobless. You also know that we received a "Christmas miracle" that was FANTASTIC!!! I say all of that to say this, we have been living off my income for almost 3 months. I make WAY less than Aaron did. I am not "tooting our horn" when I say this, but we continued to tithe throughout this whole experience...the same amount as if Aaron was still getting paid. I questioned it a couple of times. Should we lower our amount to a 'true' 10%? After all, we're not making what we used to, but Aaron and I never felt a peace about it.
Again, I'm not saying any of this to paint us as 'holier than thou,' because trust me we're not, I'm not!! I'm saying that when we're faithful with what we have, God blesses it. There is NO EARTHLY way that the money we have in savings plus what I make every 2 weeks should have sustained us for this long. Oh yeah...guess what...it's still sustaining us!!! We haven't depleted anything!!! It's crazy and there's no explanation for it, BUT GOD!!! AMAZING!!!
You see, this isn't just a lesson in tithing, although I do think that it is so very important and have seen firsthand God multiply and provide where there shouldn't be. It's about trusting God with everything. It's about giving Him that heavy burden, that load your tired and weary from, and trusting that He's faithful to take care of it. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." God is faithful to give you rest, joy, peace through whatever circumstance or storm that you are facing. He is faithful, SO FAITHFUL!!! This morning we sang the song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) and every time we get to this verse, I cry. "The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures." God's promises are not like our promises...they are TRUTH!!! He is faithful.
This morning as I was driving into church I read this verse and rang true with what has been on my heart. Isaiah 25:1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth"
As all of you know by now, some very unfortunate events took place that left Aaron unemployed. He is still riding the unemployment train, and we were even denied unemployment due to the odd circumstances that caused him to become jobless. You also know that we received a "Christmas miracle" that was FANTASTIC!!! I say all of that to say this, we have been living off my income for almost 3 months. I make WAY less than Aaron did. I am not "tooting our horn" when I say this, but we continued to tithe throughout this whole experience...the same amount as if Aaron was still getting paid. I questioned it a couple of times. Should we lower our amount to a 'true' 10%? After all, we're not making what we used to, but Aaron and I never felt a peace about it.
Again, I'm not saying any of this to paint us as 'holier than thou,' because trust me we're not, I'm not!! I'm saying that when we're faithful with what we have, God blesses it. There is NO EARTHLY way that the money we have in savings plus what I make every 2 weeks should have sustained us for this long. Oh yeah...guess what...it's still sustaining us!!! We haven't depleted anything!!! It's crazy and there's no explanation for it, BUT GOD!!! AMAZING!!!
You see, this isn't just a lesson in tithing, although I do think that it is so very important and have seen firsthand God multiply and provide where there shouldn't be. It's about trusting God with everything. It's about giving Him that heavy burden, that load your tired and weary from, and trusting that He's faithful to take care of it. Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." God is faithful to give you rest, joy, peace through whatever circumstance or storm that you are facing. He is faithful, SO FAITHFUL!!! This morning we sang the song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) and every time we get to this verse, I cry. "The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures." God's promises are not like our promises...they are TRUTH!!! He is faithful.
This morning as I was driving into church I read this verse and rang true with what has been on my heart. Isaiah 25:1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth"
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Willing Heart
As this year continues to tick by, I've realized, (well I've always known,) I want SO MUCH MORE out of life. Don't get me wrong, if I look back at my relationship with God last year, and where I am this year, it is definitely in a fresh and new place. The truth of the matter is I'm still not satisfied. How could I EVER be satisfied?!?! I want to DO more! I want to BE more! I want to SEE more! I want to LEARN more. Is this making sense?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that until Christ returns, I don't want to ever be satisfied with where I am. I want to constantly be moving and growing. I never want to be complacent when it comes to God and His works.
Last year was the first year I didn't give up on a year devotional plan. I actually made it through the whole thing. So this year, I have started a new one, but along with the devotion, I am also reading several chapters of Psalms each night. Once I'm done with Psalms, we'll see where I decide to read next. :0) You see, I'm saturating my heart and mind with His word. That knowledge is SO important, and I can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement this has been to me over the past couple of months.
Prayer has always been so very important to me, but this year I've taken my conversations with God to a new level. You see, in reading His word, He makes it very clear that He wants to hear from us. Therefore, I have been storming Heaven with pleas for miracles, peace, rest, joy...You get the idea. :0) Prayer is such a gift, but more than that..it's such a powerful tool. Prayer truly changes things, and this year I am praying and believing that God will move mountains. Miracles are not a thing of the past, folks. I am a one, after all! :)
Thanks and praise...wow, this is a big one!! How can anyone go through a single day and not thank God for loving them? I've noticed that even my praise and worship is becoming more intimate. Honestly there's probably not a song I haven't cried too. Each Sunday and Wednesday, even the times when I feel like I need a break, God gives me the strength I need to lead worship, but often times He even gives me a scripture to share. These scriptures often result in me crying, but it's just awesome to be able to share what God is showing me and my heart through worship.
I guess to sum up this post I am SUPER excited about what God is doing in my life! I am EXCITED that I'm not satisfied with just going through the motions and just sitting in the seat. I want to do His work. I DESPERATELY want Him to use me! The coolest part about it..He IS using ME!!! You see all it takes is a willing heart!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that until Christ returns, I don't want to ever be satisfied with where I am. I want to constantly be moving and growing. I never want to be complacent when it comes to God and His works.
Last year was the first year I didn't give up on a year devotional plan. I actually made it through the whole thing. So this year, I have started a new one, but along with the devotion, I am also reading several chapters of Psalms each night. Once I'm done with Psalms, we'll see where I decide to read next. :0) You see, I'm saturating my heart and mind with His word. That knowledge is SO important, and I can't even begin to tell you what an encouragement this has been to me over the past couple of months.
Prayer has always been so very important to me, but this year I've taken my conversations with God to a new level. You see, in reading His word, He makes it very clear that He wants to hear from us. Therefore, I have been storming Heaven with pleas for miracles, peace, rest, joy...You get the idea. :0) Prayer is such a gift, but more than that..it's such a powerful tool. Prayer truly changes things, and this year I am praying and believing that God will move mountains. Miracles are not a thing of the past, folks. I am a one, after all! :)
Thanks and praise...wow, this is a big one!! How can anyone go through a single day and not thank God for loving them? I've noticed that even my praise and worship is becoming more intimate. Honestly there's probably not a song I haven't cried too. Each Sunday and Wednesday, even the times when I feel like I need a break, God gives me the strength I need to lead worship, but often times He even gives me a scripture to share. These scriptures often result in me crying, but it's just awesome to be able to share what God is showing me and my heart through worship.
I guess to sum up this post I am SUPER excited about what God is doing in my life! I am EXCITED that I'm not satisfied with just going through the motions and just sitting in the seat. I want to do His work. I DESPERATELY want Him to use me! The coolest part about it..He IS using ME!!! You see all it takes is a willing heart!!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Lies Lies Lies...
There has definitely been a lot going on lately. I guess a lot of it has mostly been jumbled up in my head, mostly thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams. In a lot of ways, it appears that there truly is a light that we can 'almost' see at the end of the tunnel. It's so close in so many ways, but still far enough away. God is still good and has been so faithful.
The crazy thing to me is that when things seem to be looking up, that's when my mind starts playing tricks on me. Struggles from the past that I thought I buried long ago rear their ugly heads. At least I know there truly aren't any new 'plays' against me. The old ones seem to work just fine. It's really silly that the same struggles are so easy to fall back into.
Trust me, when I say this...I AM NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS!!! =0) PROMISE!! I have never been a very confident person. Truthfully on my best day, I'm quite insecure. God has brought me a long way with this. I used to always stand with my arms crossed so no one could see my stomach. I believe I've blogged about it before, but my image issues even caused me to be bulimic for years. God brought me out of that, and the verse that I read and meditated on constantly was Psalms 139:13 I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.WOW..that in itself is pretty amazing to me..apparently God speaks a lot to me through the Psalms.That's all I've been reading the past couple of months since Aaron has been unemployed, and I've been fighting off migraines.
Again these issues have been coming up. It's almost laughable to me, and I wouldn't even blog about it except I know that so many women deal with image issues, self worth. Lately I've been feeling not good enough, not pretty enough...BLAH BLAH BLAH...LIES LIES LIES!!
The difference between now and ten years ago is I know these are lies. =0) I know that I am a child of the King. He created me, and to Him, I am SO BEAUTIFUL!! The freckles, one dimple, blue eyes, all His perfect blue print for me!
Since I KNOW all this is TRUE...I need to stand up tall and proud because I am my Father's daughter. This may not have made since to any one but me, but it felt good to get a little of the jumbled mess out of my brain!! ;0) And before anyone jumps on Aaron, he does tell me I'm beautiful all the time! =0)
The crazy thing to me is that when things seem to be looking up, that's when my mind starts playing tricks on me. Struggles from the past that I thought I buried long ago rear their ugly heads. At least I know there truly aren't any new 'plays' against me. The old ones seem to work just fine. It's really silly that the same struggles are so easy to fall back into.
Trust me, when I say this...I AM NOT FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS!!! =0) PROMISE!! I have never been a very confident person. Truthfully on my best day, I'm quite insecure. God has brought me a long way with this. I used to always stand with my arms crossed so no one could see my stomach. I believe I've blogged about it before, but my image issues even caused me to be bulimic for years. God brought me out of that, and the verse that I read and meditated on constantly was Psalms 139:13 I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.WOW..that in itself is pretty amazing to me..apparently God speaks a lot to me through the Psalms.That's all I've been reading the past couple of months since Aaron has been unemployed, and I've been fighting off migraines.
Again these issues have been coming up. It's almost laughable to me, and I wouldn't even blog about it except I know that so many women deal with image issues, self worth. Lately I've been feeling not good enough, not pretty enough...BLAH BLAH BLAH...LIES LIES LIES!!
The difference between now and ten years ago is I know these are lies. =0) I know that I am a child of the King. He created me, and to Him, I am SO BEAUTIFUL!! The freckles, one dimple, blue eyes, all His perfect blue print for me!
Since I KNOW all this is TRUE...I need to stand up tall and proud because I am my Father's daughter. This may not have made since to any one but me, but it felt good to get a little of the jumbled mess out of my brain!! ;0) And before anyone jumps on Aaron, he does tell me I'm beautiful all the time! =0)
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Weak Week
This was one of those weeks where I would have been 'happy' in bed with a box of tissues crying. I'm pretty sure I cried every single day this week. Thursday night I cried myself to sleep. Like I said, it was just one of those weeks where crawling into a hole and hiding from any other 'news' seemed so much better than facing the world. Obviously I was a big girl, and I made it through, but it wasn't easy.
I won't pinpoint all the tidbits of news that broke my heart or discouraged me this week, because the details don't really matter. I think that we can all relate to storm after storm, trial after trial, and desperately wishing for a break, a moment to catch our breath. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." This passage resonated with me when I read it Thursday night leading to further tears.
The amazing thing to me is that while things are not magically fixed today and honestly they probably won't be tomorrow either, I am still hopeful. I've said it before, but as I continue to make it through the Psalms and listen to Praise and worship music, my heart and soul can find rest and even joy in the midst of the most tumultuous storm. This week as Kari Jobe's album was playing for the millionth time at work, the song "Find You on My Knees" came on, and as you guessed it, I started crying. These words rang so true in my heart..especially while I was at work, (my least favorite place these days.) "When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong, when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal, when my faith is shaken, and my heart is broken, and my joy is stolen, God I know that, You lift me up."
While I always try to focus on the positives in negative situations, recently I've really had to remind myself that all I have is today. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. God has my tomorrows covered. Being "still" and knowing He is God seems to be a common theme. I always go back to that song every time I'm struggling. "When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King over the Flood. I will be still, know You are God."
I'm so very grateful that God's word is new every time I read it and how praise and worship music soothes my soul. Without that and the amazing people God has blessed me with, I would surely be lost at sea in the storms of life.
I won't pinpoint all the tidbits of news that broke my heart or discouraged me this week, because the details don't really matter. I think that we can all relate to storm after storm, trial after trial, and desperately wishing for a break, a moment to catch our breath. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing;I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." This passage resonated with me when I read it Thursday night leading to further tears.
The amazing thing to me is that while things are not magically fixed today and honestly they probably won't be tomorrow either, I am still hopeful. I've said it before, but as I continue to make it through the Psalms and listen to Praise and worship music, my heart and soul can find rest and even joy in the midst of the most tumultuous storm. This week as Kari Jobe's album was playing for the millionth time at work, the song "Find You on My Knees" came on, and as you guessed it, I started crying. These words rang so true in my heart..especially while I was at work, (my least favorite place these days.) "When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong, when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal, when my faith is shaken, and my heart is broken, and my joy is stolen, God I know that, You lift me up."
While I always try to focus on the positives in negative situations, recently I've really had to remind myself that all I have is today. There's no point in worrying about tomorrow. God has my tomorrows covered. Being "still" and knowing He is God seems to be a common theme. I always go back to that song every time I'm struggling. "When the oceans rise and thunders roll, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King over the Flood. I will be still, know You are God."
I'm so very grateful that God's word is new every time I read it and how praise and worship music soothes my soul. Without that and the amazing people God has blessed me with, I would surely be lost at sea in the storms of life.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable..You Are
Some days are so much harder than other days, and sometimes being hopeful and having faith is so draining. It's even harder when you feel like you're carrying the hope all alone and no one seems to believe with you.
This morning during worship we did the song "You Are God Alone." Before we even started singing it, one particular part in the song started to resonate within me. "You're unchangeable, You're unshakeable, You're unstoppable. That's what You are." You see, no matter what's going on around us, how unstable, constantly changing and shaking, God is CONSTANT. He doesn't change and He never stops fighting for us or picking us up when we fall. He won't leave us in the valley forever, and He definitely won't make us walk through it alone.
So on days when on top of Aaron's unemployment, my migraine's are uncontrollable, our garbage disposal stops working, our dryer goes out, Brett gets sick, and I'm miserable at my job...I remember the one constant in my life...Jesus!
My devotion just yesterday talked about how looking back to the past can remind us of God's goodness and give us hope for the future. I know for me it reminds of where I've been and what God has brought me through. My God is able, and He's definitely greater than any circumstance I'm facing right now. I choose to continue to trust Him. He hasn't failed me and I know He is the One that never will.
This morning during worship we did the song "You Are God Alone." Before we even started singing it, one particular part in the song started to resonate within me. "You're unchangeable, You're unshakeable, You're unstoppable. That's what You are." You see, no matter what's going on around us, how unstable, constantly changing and shaking, God is CONSTANT. He doesn't change and He never stops fighting for us or picking us up when we fall. He won't leave us in the valley forever, and He definitely won't make us walk through it alone.
So on days when on top of Aaron's unemployment, my migraine's are uncontrollable, our garbage disposal stops working, our dryer goes out, Brett gets sick, and I'm miserable at my job...I remember the one constant in my life...Jesus!
My devotion just yesterday talked about how looking back to the past can remind us of God's goodness and give us hope for the future. I know for me it reminds of where I've been and what God has brought me through. My God is able, and He's definitely greater than any circumstance I'm facing right now. I choose to continue to trust Him. He hasn't failed me and I know He is the One that never will.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Prayer, Praise, and Psalms
It's so strange how one minute I can be okay the next minute I am not. Obviously I am physically okay, but emotionally I'm on a roller coaster. The wonderful thing is I can still say with 100% honesty is God is good!
Work makes me miserable these days, and I believe that ties in to each day that Aaron is unemployed. Being there and knowing that he should be working there too has been one thing that's SO hard to get passed. Here's what I've learned in the past month: my key to survival: Praise and Worship music, Psalms, and constant conversation with God. I've always loved the Psalms, but they've meant so much more to me these past few weeks. When I read verses like Psalms 32:7 You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance, it's impossible not to be encouraged. That's what I love about God, if you seek Him, you ALWAYS find Him. So many times when I've been anxious, verses like this are revealed to me when I take the time to read His word.
Music, oh MUSIC!! I truly don't know what I would've done this week without Kari Jobe and Gateway Worship. They've just been on repeat, saturating my heart with God's goodness and grace. One lyric that really spoke to me this week was, "I'm not gonna worry. I know that You've got me right inside the palm of Your hands. Each and every moment, what's good and what gets broken happens just the way You planned. But You're Here. You're real. I know I can trust You." I irritate myself so much when I don't trust, especially since I KNOW I can. I KNOW HE won't ever let me down.
It might sound silly to some, but I talk to God constantly. We talk a lot while I'm frustrated at work. ;0) I know without Him, I will go insane, so I constantly seek Him for wisdom and peace. It does say in Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And of course in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. It's like I've said in a previous post and I'll always remember Pray Until Something Happens.
Yes, our situation hasn't changed..YET. However, I believe with all my heart that the door was closed at my work so that Aaron could move on to bigger and better things. "Until God opens the next door for you, praise Him in the hallway." That is exactly what I'm going to do praise and pray until something happens.
Work makes me miserable these days, and I believe that ties in to each day that Aaron is unemployed. Being there and knowing that he should be working there too has been one thing that's SO hard to get passed. Here's what I've learned in the past month: my key to survival: Praise and Worship music, Psalms, and constant conversation with God. I've always loved the Psalms, but they've meant so much more to me these past few weeks. When I read verses like Psalms 32:7 You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance, it's impossible not to be encouraged. That's what I love about God, if you seek Him, you ALWAYS find Him. So many times when I've been anxious, verses like this are revealed to me when I take the time to read His word.
Music, oh MUSIC!! I truly don't know what I would've done this week without Kari Jobe and Gateway Worship. They've just been on repeat, saturating my heart with God's goodness and grace. One lyric that really spoke to me this week was, "I'm not gonna worry. I know that You've got me right inside the palm of Your hands. Each and every moment, what's good and what gets broken happens just the way You planned. But You're Here. You're real. I know I can trust You." I irritate myself so much when I don't trust, especially since I KNOW I can. I KNOW HE won't ever let me down.
It might sound silly to some, but I talk to God constantly. We talk a lot while I'm frustrated at work. ;0) I know without Him, I will go insane, so I constantly seek Him for wisdom and peace. It does say in Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And of course in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. It's like I've said in a previous post and I'll always remember Pray Until Something Happens.
Yes, our situation hasn't changed..YET. However, I believe with all my heart that the door was closed at my work so that Aaron could move on to bigger and better things. "Until God opens the next door for you, praise Him in the hallway." That is exactly what I'm going to do praise and pray until something happens.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Restful Sleep..No More Zombie
So most of you know that the past couple of nights have been incredibly rough for me. It's really strange and hard to describe, but I'll try. The first night, I woke up feeling like my tongue was swelling and my throat was closing up, and last night it was even more strange. I felt like I couldn't swallow, (which is awful,) but I also felt my face was numb, and my body just felt weird all over. My head was hurting, so perhaps it was another 'bad' migraine incident. On Tuesday night, I could feel a panic attack coming on, so I drank a whole lot of water and began praying. I then pulled up my Bible app and just started reading the Psalms..nothing in particular, but slowly I felt my body calming down and the episode passed. All I knew is I didn't want to end up calling 9-1-1 like we did back in March.
Last night was equally uncomfortable and scary, but as I was reading Psalms chapters 1-5. I found myself reading chapters 3 and 4 over and over again. So many verses stuck out to me.
Last night was equally uncomfortable and scary, but as I was reading Psalms chapters 1-5. I found myself reading chapters 3 and 4 over and over again. So many verses stuck out to me.
Psalms 3:3-5 But You, Oh Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice and He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me.
It was so comforting to me to read these words as I was crying out to God as I was struggling to fall asleep. I found it so amazing that the passages I chose to read referred to sleep as I was struggling to find it! :0) And again in the next chapter I read...
Psalms 4:8 I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
I've always loved this verse, but it meant so much more to me last night. Peaceful sleep is exactly what I had after I read these passages and cried out to God. He heard me in my time of need.
I can't really say what's causing these sudden flare ups. Perhaps its the stress of Aaron not having a job. Perhaps my mind isn't convinced of what my heart knows, that God will take care of us. He already is actually!! Faith is a choice everyday. Do we trust God or not? I do, but I also get anxious sometimes, and unfortunately, I have a feeling my migraines react.
I'm praising God that I now know what to do in these instances. It's actually quite simple. When the chaos strikes in the middle of the night I pray and read His word. If I'm not calm yet, I keep reading it over and over until it sinks in. God is good. God is faithful, and I know this!!
Praying for a restful and peaceful sleep tonight. Being a zombie at work is not fun.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
P.U.S.H
Many of you who know me well, know that I LOVE to read!! Karen Kingsbury is my FAVORITE author, mostly because I'm a freak and love to cry and EVERY book she writes has me bawling all the way through it. What can I say, I love to invest time in things that move me, and her writing is absolutely amazing! Trust me if you're looking for good reading material pick up anything by her and you won't be disappointed..I haven't read a bad one yet. ;0)
So tonight as I was reading my book there was something that really stuck out to me and it seemed too wonderful not to share,so here I am. They mentioned P.U.S.H in the book. It means Pray Until Something Happens. WOW, I love this!!!! How many of us pray and pray and then give up because we don't get an answer, so we assume that God isn't listening or just isn't concerned with our problem or issue? I wish I could beat you all over the head if that's what it would take to convince you that is COMPLETELY UNTRUE!! He cares SO much!!! He LOVES more than you could ever fathom!! If there's a miracle, big or small make it known to God..and CONTINUE to make it known to HIM until there's breakthrough.
With Aaron being unemployed right now, this was really cool for me to read. It's so hard to describe, because I do fully trust God to take care of us, but I still have those moments of anxiety. I also still have those battles at work where I'm grateful that they are providing me employment, but I'm also crushed that they're the reason Aaron's unemployed. Don't get me wrong, the 'miracle' I referred to at the end of the year was wonderful, but him not finding work as quickly as we'd hoped still makes what they did sting. That's why I'm so grateful for my friends, my family that are praying for us...praying until something happens!! :)
Another thing that helped so much this week was being part of an amazing project this week called Catfish Sandwich with Barry and Michelle Patterson. They have meant so much to me, their music and just recently having the opportunity to get to know them has been amazing. Their music has been an inspiration to me and one of their songs was the first one I learned to play and sing on the guitar. Tuesday, my cousin Sommer and I and about 6 other super cool people got to go to the recording studio at Christ for the Nations and record a song with them called "Recession Song." Can I just say it will go down as one of the best days ever?!?!? While the day was so full of fun, I was fighting back tears a lot. The chorus, the part of the song we all sang on says "We're alright! We're alright! The sun comes up tomorrow....We're alright! We're alright! This can't last forever. Can it babe?" While we were singing I just kept believing that. I'm alright. We're going to be alright, because who's on our side...only the Creator and Maker of the whole Earth. The sun is going to rise, and God's going to get us through this time and we're going to be better and closer to Him because of it. This one got long really fast, so I'll leave you with 2 of my favorite pics from Tuesday!!
So tonight as I was reading my book there was something that really stuck out to me and it seemed too wonderful not to share,so here I am. They mentioned P.U.S.H in the book. It means Pray Until Something Happens. WOW, I love this!!!! How many of us pray and pray and then give up because we don't get an answer, so we assume that God isn't listening or just isn't concerned with our problem or issue? I wish I could beat you all over the head if that's what it would take to convince you that is COMPLETELY UNTRUE!! He cares SO much!!! He LOVES more than you could ever fathom!! If there's a miracle, big or small make it known to God..and CONTINUE to make it known to HIM until there's breakthrough.
With Aaron being unemployed right now, this was really cool for me to read. It's so hard to describe, because I do fully trust God to take care of us, but I still have those moments of anxiety. I also still have those battles at work where I'm grateful that they are providing me employment, but I'm also crushed that they're the reason Aaron's unemployed. Don't get me wrong, the 'miracle' I referred to at the end of the year was wonderful, but him not finding work as quickly as we'd hoped still makes what they did sting. That's why I'm so grateful for my friends, my family that are praying for us...praying until something happens!! :)
Sunday, January 6, 2013
How Great is Our God
Last night I was praying for a miracle. I guess that's not completely true. I have been praying for a miracle for quite some time. Yesterday, the prayer became even more desperate.
As I sat in my chair weeping and praying wondering why this miracle hadn't happened yet, my sweet Dexter was softly singing "How Great is Our God." You see it's not that I ever question God's sovereignty or timing, I just so badly, no desperately want this miracle to happen. As Dex was singing this song, of course I started crying even more, but it brought me back to what God seemed to show me over and over again in 2012. No matter what the situation, no matter the circumstances, no matter how desperate or hopeless...our God is still great. He is still worthy of our praise. Because of who He is, I still have hope no matter how things look or seem. There is never a situation too hopeless as long as my God is walking beside me. We are never wondering without hope, because He is walking right beside us.
As I sat in my chair weeping and praying wondering why this miracle hadn't happened yet, my sweet Dexter was softly singing "How Great is Our God." You see it's not that I ever question God's sovereignty or timing, I just so badly, no desperately want this miracle to happen. As Dex was singing this song, of course I started crying even more, but it brought me back to what God seemed to show me over and over again in 2012. No matter what the situation, no matter the circumstances, no matter how desperate or hopeless...our God is still great. He is still worthy of our praise. Because of who He is, I still have hope no matter how things look or seem. There is never a situation too hopeless as long as my God is walking beside me. We are never wondering without hope, because He is walking right beside us.
"Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart, All who hope in the Lord."
Psalms 31:24
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Something a Little Different..A Recipe!!
So I was very impressed with my dinner tonight, so I figured I would share the recipe I started with. It was more of a starting point, because the more I looked at it, I really didn't use half the ingredients she said to.
First though here's the link. It took a lot of searching on Pinterest to find a CROCK POT Cheeseburger Soup recipe. I'm all about crock pot recipes. All you working moms or busy moms in general know what a LIFE saver crock pots are!!
So here's where my recipe started from: http://katieandmattskitchen.blogspot.com/2012/10/crockpot-bacon-cheeseburger-soup.html
Here's how I made it though:
1 lb of ground meat
2 large potatoes
32 oz Chicken Broth
8 oz Cream Cheese
30 oz of Velveeta Cubed
Bacon Bits
Directions:
Cook ground meat. Pour Chicken broth along with cubed Velveeta cheese into crock pot. Peel and cube large potatoes and place them in crock pot. (The size of the potato pieces is really up to you. I wanted them bite size.) Add cooked ground meat and cubed cream cheese. Cook 2-3 hours on high. (Basically until your potatoes are tender and the cream cheese is melted along with the cheese.
Once it's done garnish however you please. We added bacon bits and boy was it tasty!!! =0) Our house is a no onion and tomato zone per the hubby, so that's why I left out half of her ingredients. Either way it was FANTASTIC!!!
First though here's the link. It took a lot of searching on Pinterest to find a CROCK POT Cheeseburger Soup recipe. I'm all about crock pot recipes. All you working moms or busy moms in general know what a LIFE saver crock pots are!!
So here's where my recipe started from: http://katieandmattskitchen.blogspot.com/2012/10/crockpot-bacon-cheeseburger-soup.html
Here's how I made it though:
1 lb of ground meat
2 large potatoes
32 oz Chicken Broth
8 oz Cream Cheese
30 oz of Velveeta Cubed
Bacon Bits
Directions:
Cook ground meat. Pour Chicken broth along with cubed Velveeta cheese into crock pot. Peel and cube large potatoes and place them in crock pot. (The size of the potato pieces is really up to you. I wanted them bite size.) Add cooked ground meat and cubed cream cheese. Cook 2-3 hours on high. (Basically until your potatoes are tender and the cream cheese is melted along with the cheese.
Once it's done garnish however you please. We added bacon bits and boy was it tasty!!! =0) Our house is a no onion and tomato zone per the hubby, so that's why I left out half of her ingredients. Either way it was FANTASTIC!!!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013 is Here...Our Hope Endures
So as I sit here and reflect on 2012, on the 1st day of 2013, there is so much to be thankful for. I find it so strange that often times the bad times out shine the good times. I guess it's because it's the bad times that shake our world the most, but I don't want one season of my year to set the entire tone, you know?
2012 was a rough year for sure. There was my health scare and ER trip back in March that has resulted in me still having to take migraine medication everyday. I still have terrible headaches, so who knows if their diagnosis was right or not. I praise God for this reason though: I have not been back to the ER since March and for that I am SUPER thankful!!
Of course the biggest trial would be my mom's brain tumor diagnosis. God showed us His faithfulness through it though and while my mom is still not feeling 100%, we are so grateful that she is on the road to recovery. God has revealed so much to her during this time, and I can honestly say that she's grateful for this trial and the closeness she's felt with her Comforter. My mom has truly been a testimony of someone who praises Him in the midst of a trial. It's AMAZING!! =0)
The year ended with Aaron becoming unemployed..not exactly how you want to end or begin a new year, but we are hopeful the job opportunities will be rolling in shortly! =0) I'm so proud of my hubby. During his time off he has taught himself editing programs he's wanted to learn forever! He's SUPER smart, and this knowledge he's gained will be something he can use to branch out into work he would actually enjoy doing!
I never do the whole new year's resolution thing, because we all know they're typically made to be broken, but here's what I hope for 2013.
I have many precious friends that are expecting little boys or girls this year and I pray that both mommies and babies remain healthy throughout pregnancy and delivery. I pray for miracles, the miracles that a lot of people have stopped believing in. I pray that those with cancer will be healed, those who's hearts are broken will be made whole, the weak will be strong, the depressed will receive joy, those who are restless will receive peace, and those who's days are filled with tears will be replaced with laughter. God can do these things. Our Hope is in Him and only Him. This year we must continue to seek and pray and ask and most IMPORTANTLY BELIEVE and have FAITH!!!
This week as I was listening to some music in my car the song "Our Hope Endures" came on by Natalie Grant. I love this song, because no matter what's going around us, no matter how crazy this world gets, no matter how long the storm of our life is..Our Hope Endures. The song says, "We never walk alone and this is our hope." I love that! =0) The storm may be long. The rains may seem like they're never going to end, but just like He was in 2012, our God will be right there through everything we may face in 2013.
2012 was a rough year for sure. There was my health scare and ER trip back in March that has resulted in me still having to take migraine medication everyday. I still have terrible headaches, so who knows if their diagnosis was right or not. I praise God for this reason though: I have not been back to the ER since March and for that I am SUPER thankful!!
Of course the biggest trial would be my mom's brain tumor diagnosis. God showed us His faithfulness through it though and while my mom is still not feeling 100%, we are so grateful that she is on the road to recovery. God has revealed so much to her during this time, and I can honestly say that she's grateful for this trial and the closeness she's felt with her Comforter. My mom has truly been a testimony of someone who praises Him in the midst of a trial. It's AMAZING!! =0)
The year ended with Aaron becoming unemployed..not exactly how you want to end or begin a new year, but we are hopeful the job opportunities will be rolling in shortly! =0) I'm so proud of my hubby. During his time off he has taught himself editing programs he's wanted to learn forever! He's SUPER smart, and this knowledge he's gained will be something he can use to branch out into work he would actually enjoy doing!
I never do the whole new year's resolution thing, because we all know they're typically made to be broken, but here's what I hope for 2013.
I have many precious friends that are expecting little boys or girls this year and I pray that both mommies and babies remain healthy throughout pregnancy and delivery. I pray for miracles, the miracles that a lot of people have stopped believing in. I pray that those with cancer will be healed, those who's hearts are broken will be made whole, the weak will be strong, the depressed will receive joy, those who are restless will receive peace, and those who's days are filled with tears will be replaced with laughter. God can do these things. Our Hope is in Him and only Him. This year we must continue to seek and pray and ask and most IMPORTANTLY BELIEVE and have FAITH!!!
This week as I was listening to some music in my car the song "Our Hope Endures" came on by Natalie Grant. I love this song, because no matter what's going around us, no matter how crazy this world gets, no matter how long the storm of our life is..Our Hope Endures. The song says, "We never walk alone and this is our hope." I love that! =0) The storm may be long. The rains may seem like they're never going to end, but just like He was in 2012, our God will be right there through everything we may face in 2013.
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