It's been a while and life, as usual, has thrown many curve balls. It's been so long, I really have no idea where to begin.
Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried at something, no matter how much of your heart you poured into it, you were always going to fall short? I had honestly felt like this for so long that I seriously considered throwing in the towel completely. Luckily I gave it time and God has miraculously worked out the details, so I am still trucking along, and it appears that he's bringing me out of my comfort zone and making me more comfortable in my own skin.
People really don't understand how it is to be insecure or to have a low self esteem if they've never been there. It's honestly pretty strange how you just become that person. There were obviously people in my past (and present) that belittled and made me feel less than, but for the most part I was encouraged and lifted up. It's crazy when no matter how pretty, skinny, or talented people have told me I am, I have always had a SUPER hard time believing and seeing it for myself. That's why Psalms 139:14 has always been my favorite verse."I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works and that my soul knows very well."
It's amazing how scripture is truly medicine to a wounded soul and spirit. God made me, He loves me, and unlike man, His love is unconditional. Whether I've gained 5 pounds, cry about dumb stuff, or my face breaks out, He loves me just the same.
I am blessed with some of the best friends anyone could hope for or dream of. Ladies who are always there to encourage or just listen to me vent or cry. I have amazing parents who I know would do anything for me. And my hubby is pretty awesome too. I'm pretty amazed at how far God has brought him in the past 9 years we've been married.
I know I am blessed. While it's quite annoying battling with insecurity, it's also a blessing in a small way. At least I always stay humble. ;-) I guess the whole point of this blog is it's awesome to see God work in other people's lives, but it's also pretty great when you see how He's molding and changing you. He's not finished with any of us yet. As the children's song says, "He's still working on me."
