First of all, I've been struggling a lot lately. It's not because of anyone or anything, but I've been questioning what I should be doing. Am I where God wants me to be? Are the gifts and talents I have really worth sharing? Am I making a difference? Does what I'm doing even matter? The funny thing about God is He always sends what we need. I was seriously ready to throw in the towel, take a little break to regroup. Around that time, I received the sweetest card in the mail just telling me I was appreciated. It was so very encouraging. Before you criticize me for seeking my worth in 'man's opinions', it's really not that at all. It was the little nudge I needed to keep fighting and worshiping with all my heart.
This new year, I decided I really needed to become more intentional in my prayer life. There is so much hurting, and I really wanted to make sure that I was taking each and every need to the Lord. I have never wanted to be one of those people who comments praying one minute and then never thinks about it again. I have re-started my prayer journal. I plan on looking at it at the beginning of next year to see what God has done. I actually read the prayers I had written down last year. I had actually been praying for a way to stay home and be a stay at home mom, God didn't answer exactly how I saw, but I do WORK from home now which is equally awesome!! I thank God that he knew exactly what I needed, and allowed my other job to force me out in order to find something SO MUCH BETTER!!
My goal this year is to live my life as a worshiper. There are so many songs that reflect my heart right now. One is ''Your praise will ever be on my lips." God has already done so much for me. I always have a reason to praise Him. The other is ''It's Your breath in our lungs,so we'll pour out our praise." Basically it's the same theme. He is worthy no matter what life throws at me. He literally gives me breath, so why in the world would I not praise Him?
The last lyrics that really struck a chord with me tonight as I worshiped were these:
Our God is Lion, the Lion of Judah.
He's roaring in power and fighting our battles,
And every knee will bow before Him.
Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain
For the sins of the world His blood breaks the chains,
And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb.
This year is already beginning to look a lot like last year did. There is lots of uncertainty right around the corner, but I am so grateful that I can look back and see all God has brought me and my family through. If He did it then, he will certainly bring us through this time. I will continue seeking his face in prayer, worship and His word.
