I have so much to share, but finding the quiet time to sit and gather my thoughts always seems to be the problem. It's a bit discouraging knowing that there really aren't too many people that read what I write on here, but then again, I'm thrilled that ANYONE at all wants to hear what I have to say. ;0)
God has been working on me big time. I can't even say it's been since my mom was given the news of her brain tumor. She's doing AMAZING by the way!! Praise God!! It's really been going on for a while now. I'd venture to say once I started leading worship is when I really started noticing Him molding me. I've been praying for a long time for God to use me, and it's really strange how He has been.
For those of you who that have had the privilege of knowing me for a while..(totally kidding) know that I've always been a pretty sensitive person, a crier. Lately I pretty much cry on a daily basis. Sometimes it hits me at work, in the car, while I'm in bed trying to go to sleep, or it could be a song I hear on the radio.
Yesterday as I was driving the song came on that says, "All I know is I'm not home yet. This is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong." I just started crying.... God has literally been breaking my heart for everyone, at least it feels that way. My heart hurts for our country, my heart hurts for my friends, my heart hurts for Christians who lack compassion, my heart hurts for people I know who are going to Hell,my heart hurts for those suffering loss, my heart hurts for those fighting cancer, my heart hurts for the families of those fighting cancer, my heart hurts that no one cares about the millions of babies murdered through abortion...MY HEART ACHES and I cry. I can't stop it, and it often overwhelms me at awkward times.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to stop. We should all feel and hurt for each other. Isn't that what it's all about...Christ's LOVE. If we don't care, then WE should really take a long hard look in the mirror. I'm not telling you to walk around crying all the time like me, but take the time to feel. Often times, our first instinct is to judge instead of love and pray. We could never understand or comprehend what everyone's going through, but God sure does.
We as Christians are to be the light of the world. The best way to shine through the darkness and ugliness of this world is to show Christ's love. There's so much more God has been revealing to me, but I'll save that when I have another quiet moment. Love you all so much!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I Think It's Official..Migraine Meds are Making Me CRAZY
So, while I have so much to say that is so amazing and that God has been revealing to me...I'm not quite ready to put it all into words yet. So for now I will give you an update on me and the wonderful world of Christi on migraine meds.
At my last appointment my doctor decided that I needed to be on the meds for another 6 months. I understood, and up to that point, the only side effect was the 'meaner' Christi. Lately I'm noticing some other changes. I think I am beginning to slow down mentally. It's nothing crazy, but sometimes it's hard for me to think of what I'm trying to say, and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm also finding myself saying some really silly stuff. Example: I've been using my phone to charge my guitar. What I meant to say is I've been using my phone to TUNE my guitar. I've been saying fun stuff like that more frequently, and while I'll admit we all do this sometimes. I promise I have never done this as often as I do now.
I am still pretty blunt, but it's still to the point where it's funny and not rude. My friends find most of what comes out of my mouth quite amusing.
Today, I think was the icing on the cake. My boss gave me something back at the end of the day yesterday. I was asking her about it today saying I still didn't have it. She kept saying I know I gave it to you, and I kept saying I really don't remember you giving it to me. This back and forth happened for a while, very respectfully I might add. Then something clicked. I went to the drawer where I lock my things up at the end of the day and there it was. Honestly, as silly as it sounds. It makes me kind of sad. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind.
I guess it's time I call the neurologist and just see if he can lower my dose or see if my brain is going to be permanently slowed down by these meds even once I come off of them. It's so frustrating. I try to laugh about it most of the time, but it's starting to get to me!
The thought of being on these for another 4 months does not sound appealing at all, especially if it effects me even more.
Prayers are greatly appreciated!!
At my last appointment my doctor decided that I needed to be on the meds for another 6 months. I understood, and up to that point, the only side effect was the 'meaner' Christi. Lately I'm noticing some other changes. I think I am beginning to slow down mentally. It's nothing crazy, but sometimes it's hard for me to think of what I'm trying to say, and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm also finding myself saying some really silly stuff. Example: I've been using my phone to charge my guitar. What I meant to say is I've been using my phone to TUNE my guitar. I've been saying fun stuff like that more frequently, and while I'll admit we all do this sometimes. I promise I have never done this as often as I do now.
I am still pretty blunt, but it's still to the point where it's funny and not rude. My friends find most of what comes out of my mouth quite amusing.
Today, I think was the icing on the cake. My boss gave me something back at the end of the day yesterday. I was asking her about it today saying I still didn't have it. She kept saying I know I gave it to you, and I kept saying I really don't remember you giving it to me. This back and forth happened for a while, very respectfully I might add. Then something clicked. I went to the drawer where I lock my things up at the end of the day and there it was. Honestly, as silly as it sounds. It makes me kind of sad. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind.
I guess it's time I call the neurologist and just see if he can lower my dose or see if my brain is going to be permanently slowed down by these meds even once I come off of them. It's so frustrating. I try to laugh about it most of the time, but it's starting to get to me!
The thought of being on these for another 4 months does not sound appealing at all, especially if it effects me even more.
Prayers are greatly appreciated!!
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